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Guest toonlass

Exclusive from the SUNN

 

The Keegan Backlash erupted with a vengeance today with claims that KK had :

 

Not brought the expected avalanche of goals

NOT won ANY silverware

Failed to sign any significant superstars

Snubbed pensioners AND disabled supporters

IGNORED impoverished families

Failed TO SORT OUT STRIFE within Saint James’ Park

 

The rumblings were already underway last night after Newcastle’s lackluster 4 -1 victory over lowly Stoke United, a group of disgruntled fans gathered at the Grey’s Monument McDonalds in the very heart of The TOON let their feelings be known………. Baz from Benton moaned…….. is this what it is going to be like under the “mighty” “King Kev” only FOUR goals against this rubbish.. we were expecting mebbes thirty or forty nowt according to me Fatha they used to win sometimes fifty nowt last time the so-called Special K was here. His mate Gaz (Benton) added ……… aye and where’s the trophies, still nen in the cupboard is there………. Friend Naz (Benton) had his say as well………..where are we today under Keegan huh ??? ………STILL eleventh in the EPL …….. same as Allardyce !!!!! ………Daz ( Benton ) added angrily ……… where are all the signings then …….. it sez in the Sunn today he has forty billion Euros to spend on players…….. so far we have seen no sign of any of his so-called “astute” buys have we ????

 

But it is not just the fans up in arms……… pensioner Jack (Jacky) Robson of Benton ranted…….. what has Keegan ever done for the pensioners of the area, we scrape by on four pounds fifty a week and he spends millions on nancy boys and perms, if he has any compassion at all for the old and underpriveledged on Tyneside he will buy us all a car , I’ve always dreamed of owning a 500SL but will it ever happen under Keegan’s reign ……….. I doubt it. Wheelchair bound Arthur (Robbo) Robson went one further…………… Keegan has NO feelings whatsoever for the disabled, I hurt me back 37 years ago and cannot work because of a mystery disability the doctors cannot diagnose……… I wrote to Keegan yesterday asking if he could spare some of his MILLIONS to put a little smile on my kids faces………. He did not even send ONE stinking Rolex or WWii……… he is a cheapskate all round………Unwed mother of five Kylie (Kazza) (19) of Benton went even further……… I named all my kids in his honour like after all some of me kids real fathas said he was like a fatha to them like……. But has KK recognized this surprising show of loyalty…….. the disappointment was clear on the faces of Kev (6) Kevina (5) Kiev (4) Kevinella (3) Otherkev (2)……….. as their loving and heavily pregnant mother broke the news they would not be jetting to Disneyland next week…..

 

But the problems OUTSIDE SJP pall in comparison to the unrest WITHIN the walls of the mighty stadium………….. we can reveal that speaking under the blanket of complete anonymity, Mr Joseph (Josh) Robson, 32 Chapelside Gardens, Benton……groundsman…broke the silence and stated that he had DIGITAL photographs showing literally THOUSANDS of empty seats in SJP last night……he is quoted as saying ………. I could not believe it, we went to sweep up and all we could see were acres of empty stands……… if this is what it is going to be like under Keegan I have no hope for this once mighty clurb…….I mean they’d even turned the floodlights off………… how cheap is THAT !!!

 

Under the stand things are worse, Betty the Pielady (Benton) huffed ………… Keegan …… Special K….. no way !!!! I have been struggling by now for THREE MONTHS at four hundred and seven quid a WEEK take home pay…….and when I demanded to see the manager to discuss this………… he was TOO BUSY with MORE important matters to even open negotiations…….. my agent has hopes that there may be some offers on the table before the transfer window closes, other wise my pies will be on the table …………. Elsewhere !!!

 

So there we are, can KK calm the fears of the everyday supporters and turn around this mighty club ………. Or will the cries of Keegan OUT and …….. bring back Sam be echoing around Tyneside by Valentine’s Day ???

 

Byeline : William (Billy) Watson, Longbenton

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Ai shud of scored at least 86 goals last night, its a disgrace.

 

to be fair though, their keeper was on top form

 

Still no excuses, even with 10 men we should of scored 73 goals,

 

I suppose. Zoggy is past it anyways, and we were without Smith and Butt!!!!! Take them two out of Man U and watch them struggle!!

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