Assess Our Squad

[Pandamninator]

Rating our individuals is f***ing pointless when you consider that they don't play as a team. Bassong and Coloccini pisses on O'Brien and Bramble but which two helped take this club into the Champions League?

 

It's about the bigger picture and squad balance rather than who is 'better'. We need a good manager before we worry about the strengths of our individual players.

 

Spot on! All we need is a good manager to pull this all together, its the thing im worried most about becasue i dont think Ashley et al have the brains to go for the best man they can get.

 

That, and no one worth their salt would want to have no say in the transfers and be a minion for Dennis Wise.

[Guest Howaythetoon]

Given - top-class

Harper - good back-up

 

Beye - very good

Bassong - could be very good

Taylor - average

Collocini - good

Enrique - average

Edgar - piss poor

Cacapa - piss poor

 

Duff - piss poor

N'Zogbia - average

Guthrie - average

Butt - piss poor

Gutierrez - very good

Barton - good

Geremi - piss poor

Smith - piss poor

 

Viduka - piss poor

Martins - very good (more so for what he adds to the team)

Owen - good (or very good/average/piss poor depending on service and form)

Carroll - average

Ameobi - piss poor

Xisco - nothing remotely remarkable about his game, although he has hardly played.

 

Kinnear - piss poor

 

Side lacks depth, balance, spirit, leadership, drive, pace, mobility, understanding and confidence.

 

Overall an average team with the capacity to be piss poor (more often than not)

 

Total overhaul needed to be honest, in an ideal world anyway...

[Karjala]

Weve got a top 10 eleven when fit, outside of that we are fuckin wank.

 

Our manager is shit, our owner wont spend fuck all and crowds will go down.

 

A attacking CM, LB and Striker could turn us into Euro contenders, but it wont happen.

[Ketsbaia]

Given - Exceptional                                                10/10

Harper - His loyalty is his downfall                          8/10

 

Beye - Solid                                                              8/10

Bassong - Beast. Find of the season.                      8/10

Taylor - Overrated by non-Toon folk. Frustrating    5/10

Collocini - Overhyped, unfortunately                        7/10

Enrique - Flashes of promise, bullied by manager    6/10

Edgar - Simple not good enough                              3/10

Cacapa - Was a fan until the Fulham game              5/10

 

Duff - Inconsistent and past his best                        6/10

N'Zogbia - Spoiled brat, not as good as he thinks    7/10

Guthrie - Does a solid job. Needs a good partner    6/10

Butt - Experience....thats all he is                            5/10

Gutierrez - Magical, but faltered lately                      9/10

Barton - We need him, could save our season        8/10

Geremi - Decent back-up, but nothing more            6/10

Smith - World-beater                                                4/10

 

Viduka - Rarely seen, almost extinct                        7/10

Martins - Predictably unpredictable. A match winner 9/10

Owen - Gooood Riddance                                        7/10

Carroll - Reserves is at his level                                5/10

Ameobi - Hit and miss. A confidence player              6/10

Xisco - Barely used, but he's just not good enough  5/10

 

Kinnear - Get out of my club. I hate you. You're clueless, you're embarassing and you make me feel ashamed to support NUFC. Seriously, just shut up, go home and LEAVE US ALONE!!                                                    0.00001/10

 

 

In summary, we should be fine in goal and up front. We're one beasty CM away from a passable midfield and our first choice defence is good enough.......but one or two injuries there and we're screwed (like right now).

 

[Guest saintscoobz]

Given - Superb, Hope he stays but wont blame him if he leaves.

Harper - Best English keeper.

 

Beye - Solid.

Bassong - Been a great buy, put in some great performances.

Taylor - Like the lad alot but i neverfeel completely comfortable with him.

Coloccini - Has made a few silly errors but still a player i like to see play.

Enrique -  Not too bad, not too great either.

Edgar - Jury is still out, maybe he'll make the grade, not too sure to.

Cacapa - Not for me I'm afraid.

 

Duff - Not worth the massive wages.

N'Zogbia - Decent enough but his heart aint in toon anymore, sell.

Guthrie - Could develop into a great player for us.

Butt - Too old.

Gutierrez - definitely one of the few good players in our squad.

Barton - Shame he is such a cunt off the pitch but we do urgently need his battling spirit on it.

Geremi - Past It.

Smith - Does he actually pley for us?

 

Viduka - Finished.

Martins - Our best striking threat.

Owen - Bye and thanks for er... getting paid bucketloads of cash to build stables for your ponies and only being fit in the run up to England games. 

Carroll - Has Potential.

Ameobi - How did he get a 3 year contract?

Xisco - Needs a run in the first team.

 

Kinnear - Still cringe at the thought of him in charge of my team.

 

 

 

[sparta]

Given - Superb, Hope he stays but wont blame him if he leaves.

Harper - Best English keeper. will take charge if Given goes

Krul    - Can be on the bench

Forster - Can be on the bench

 

Beye - Solid. but is starting to become injury prone?

Bassong - Been a great buy, only had about one error since he started playing

Taylor - wish he took charge at RB now beye is gone, he have had a couple of good games there...

Coloccini - Good enough for the league, can be a great player for us

Enrique -  Good both ways, but as said, makes to many silly errors.

Edgar - dont think he will ever be ready for EPL, but better with him than cacapa

Cacapa - past it, shown that in the last matches he came in, however looks like a good profile to have at the club (but not a keeper, no)

 

Duff - proven fuck all with a decent, good and crap manager... not worth having here

N'Zogbia - want to leave? FUCK OFF THEN!

Guthrie - already a great player for us, if he is complemented with a good midfielder...

Butt - Too old, slow, dumb etc etc etc etc

Gutierrez - Its a shame, in any of the top 5 teams, he would be a monster, here i is a battling winger (much like milner isnt he?)

Barton - good fotball player that we need, who cares about the rest?

Geremi - done, finished, over the top... impact player for the rest of the season.. then get rid

Smith - good that he is back, he might acually be useful! who knows! maybe hes foot where broken back, so now he can score goals again???

 

Viduka - Finished... ill leave it at that

Martins - if we loose martins.. in any way.. we are royally fucked

Owen - good if he stays, good if he goes... i wouldnt mind another striker... any striker actually (oh well. not ameobi, hes just frustrating)

acually i wont be so unhappy if he leaves. becouse then we have to change our playing style.. wich can only be for the better...

Carroll - Potential to be something.. he gets his headers on target as well. plays with his heart.. been missing that for some while

Ameobi - confidence player.. plays with his heart left in the locker room... 3 years? FUCK OFF

Xisco - could step up? who knows, havent played! hope his injury is over now (who am i kidding? we are nufc!)

 

Kinnear - be afraid.. be very afraid...

 

 

[Tsunami]

In answer to the op question; not good enough and likely to get weaker before it gets stronger.

[mozy]

Given - World Class                                                10/10

Harper - Solid deputy                                                6/10

 

Beye - Failed to match last seasons performances  7/10

Bassong - Quality                                                      8/10

Taylor - Always committed, if a little rash.                6/10

Collocini - Overhyped, unfortunately                        6/10

Enrique - Good without the ball, useless with it      6/10

Edgar - Doesn't look up to it                                    4/10

Cacapa - Embarrassing                                            3/10

 

Duff - Doesn't justify his wages                                6/10

N'Zogbia - Whiny little shit                                        6/10

Guthrie - Everything Nicky Butt isn't                          7/10

Butt - You think he would learn by 33                      5/10

Gutierrez - Been poor for a while                              6/10

Barton - Needs to get on the field consistently        6/10

Geremi - Get rid, hes finished                                    4/10

Smith - 6 fucking million pounds                                5/10

 

Viduka - Always injured, never tries                          5/10

Martins - Our best player                                          8/10

Owen - Clearly wants out                                          6/10

Carroll - Looked good when he's played                  7/10

Ameobi - Injury prone,                                              6/10

Xisco - Not given a chance                                        5/10

 

Kinnear - So much bullshit its untrue, The press must love having him feed them all this shite every fucking day. Anyone who thinks he's "steadied the ship" needs their head looked at.                                       

[The Prophet]

It's a small squad full of quality but injury prone players with distinctly average players to plug the gap.

[Guest Gazmatron]

quality of squad = really good, capable of 8th place

 

quality of manager = league 2 at best

 

therefore quality of squad = shite