James Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Courtesy of latest edition of FourFourTwo, available at all good newsagents, and well worth buying. Arsenal - Air This French synth combo are classy, ephemeral and aesthetically pleasing - though the melodies are often lightweight noodle unnecessarily, and rarely culminate in a satisfying conclusion. Aston Villa - Prince Enjoyed spectacular success in the early 1980's before going downhill steadily. Enjoyed a couple of minor successes since, but most of the time people shake their heads and wonder what happenned to a once-great institution. Blackburn - Radiohead Enjoyed phenomenal success in the mid-90s and looked set for a long period of dominance, but threw it away big-style with a series of amazingly wilful career decisions. Replacing the majestic guitar swirl of The Bends with the piss-in-a-puddle drums of Amnesiac is one thing...but Kenny Dalglish for Ray Harford, Roy Hodgson and Brian Kidd? Bolton Wanderers - The Rolling Stones They may be a set of wizened old fools who have been about for decades, but they can still deliver on the big stage. Charlton - St Etienne Trendy London types who always attempted to do things in style. Sadly, for some reason they never really managed to capture the popular imagination. Chelsea - Coldplay Immensely successful, yet equally unpopular. Nobody you'll ever meet will admit to liking them - perhaps because there is such a ridiculous amount of money thrown at the production, and whats produced is turgid rubbish. Everton - The Beatles A Merseyside outfit whose best days were in the 1960's. They've still got a big reputation and following, but it seems only half their lineup has a pulse. Fulham - The Bangles They work-for-an-E-gyp-tian. Liverpool - David Hasselhoff Both enjoyed glory days in the 1980s when they bossed Europe with some of the finest perms the world have ever seen. Recently emerged from the doldrums to score unexpected hits as varied as Jump In my Car and winning the Champions League. Manchester City - Oasis Yes, it seems far too obvious. But examine the evidence - they're now well past their best, fail dismally in their goal to recreate the heady days of the 1960s, and are prone to occassional bursts of extreme violence. Manchester United - Thelonius Monk The legendary jazz pianist pressed keys which should never have worked together, but did. Fergie meanwhile cobbled together a title-winning side midfield containing the likes of John O'Shea, Darren Fletcher, Michael Carrick and Kieran Richardson. Middlesborough - Snow Patrol Proffessionals who turn up on time and get the job done with minimum fuss. Problem is, nobody remembers anything they do. Newcastle - The Grateful Dead This lot are blessed with an unbelievable number of rabid fans who can see no wrong in their heroes whatsoever. Meanwhile, everyone else who is completely aware of their shortcomings looks on in total bemusement. Portsmouth - Fatboy Slim An ageing chancer who pieces together loads of different bits of old tat to make something which is passable at best. Reading - Velvet Underground Several of Lou Reed's achingly hip tracks basically consist of one droning note which lasts for 847 minutes. Compare and contrast to Steve Coppell holding a press conference. Sheffield United - Razorlight Take Neil Warnock, the most hated man in football, pour him into a pair of white skinny jeans - and voila - you get Johnny Borrell, themost hated man in pop. Tottenham Hotspur - U2 Big on bluster and not half as important as they think they are.[/b] West Ham - Chas 'n' Dave Despite their spurs allegiances, you couldn't get more typical east London action if you strapped Lee Bowyer's head to the axle of his Baby Bentley and went wheel-spinning around Dagenham. Wigan Athletic - Arcade Fire The Canadian hipsters enjoyed much critical success with their initial release. But despite early good notices, in reality their second effort saw them merely treading water, and nobody's talking about them any more. Let;s face facts, their time is already running out. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leazes1986 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Load of shit. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fugazi Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Balckburn - Radiohead? What bollocks. Newcastle - The Grateful Dead This lot are blessed with an unbelievable number of rabid fans who can see no wrong in their heroes whatsoever. Meanwhile, everyone else who is completely aware of their shortcomings looks on in total bemusement. Fuck right off. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LucaAltieri Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Bolton Wanderers - The Rolling Stones They may be a set of wizened old fools who have been about for decades, but they can still deliver on the big stage. What? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shak Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Someone who doesn't have a clue about music probably wasn't the best choice for writing this article. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Probably why I liked it then, as I know almost nothing about music. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norwegian-Geordie Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Blackburn - Radiohead Enjoyed phenomenal success in the mid-90s and looked set for a long period of dominance, but threw it away big-style with a series of amazingly wilful career decisions. Replacing the majestic guitar swirl of The Bends with the piss-in-a-puddle drums of Amnesiac is one thing...but Kenny Dalglish for Ray Harford, Roy Hodgson and Brian Kidd? Very off-topic, but what do you Englishmen think about him, wasnt he linked to the England or Tottenham job a couple of years ago? Do you hear anything from him in England and how do you rate him? He was manager for the club in my home-city two years ago. I don't agree in most of the teams/bands. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
gazza ladra Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 A couple of years ago in FourFourTwo there was an interview with Nobby--then at Aston Villa-- talking about salsa and his horns. Anyway, he was asked to compare the style of play of Aston Villa and NUFC to music styles. Can't remember what he said about Villa, but he said Newcastle was a combination of "heavy metal and opera"--- I think that's what he said. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 It's funny as Newcastle fans are either portrayed as loyal to the point of stupidity (in this case) or we are so impatient and demanding of success that we get the manager sacked every six months. I know this is meant to be a bit of fun btw. As for Norwegian-Geordie's question. I think Roy Hodgson was supposed to be close to getting the England job when Sven got it. FourFourTwo is wank. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
1878 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Everton's best days were the 80's. It's not even debatable. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PM Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 How can the quite brilliant Arcade Fire be compared to Wigan? Arcade Fire have more members than Wigan have fans. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shido Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Anyway, he was asked to compare the style of play of Aston Villa and NUFC to music styles. Can't remember what he said about Villa, but he said Newcastle was a combination of "heavy metal and opera"--- I think that's what he said. We're Nightwish! hahah (before the lady left) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
looneytoon Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Reading - Velvet Underground Several of Lou Reed's achingly hip tracks basically consist of one droning note which lasts for 847 minutes. Compare and contrast to Steve Coppell holding a press conference. I wonder which VU track they were thinking of when they wrote this cack. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Knightrider Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 FourFourTwo is wank. Agreed, the Loaded of footy mags I always thought, aimed at "real fans" but not written by real fans, as opposed to aimed at "real blokes" but written by people like Vic for Loaded. World Soccer is the daddy and 90 minutes used to be OK IIRC. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
1878 Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 FourFourTwo is w***. Agreed, the Loaded of footy mags I always thought, aimed at "real fans" but not written by real fans, as opposed to aimed at "real blokes" but written by people like Vic for Loaded. World Soccer is the daddy and 90 minutes used to be OK IIRC. Yeah, World Soccer is pretty decent. I got the last one which had some good stuff on Argie football past and present Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Knightrider Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 FourFourTwo is w***. Agreed, the Loaded of footy mags I always thought, aimed at "real fans" but not written by real fans, as opposed to aimed at "real blokes" but written by people like Vic for Loaded. World Soccer is the daddy and 90 minutes used to be OK IIRC. Yeah, World Soccer is pretty decent. I got the last one which had some good stuff on Argie football past and present Haven't read it for years but used to subscribe to it, a must read for any avid footy fan who is interested in the world game too. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Morph Posted June 11, 2007 Share Posted June 11, 2007 Balckburn - Radiohead? What bollocks. Fuck right off. Yeah, both are utter wank. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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