Wullie

I always remember a game against Norwich, was a midweek home game, we went 2-0 up and they fought back for a draw, Dyer's performance was one of the worst I ever saw in a Newcastle shirt, it almost had to be seen to be believed how shit he was. He got absolute pelters when he went off.

PSG losing to Lille again, Messi dragged off at HT.

Yates/Dickie 33/1

Can't overstate how disappointed I would be with Roberto Martinez.

Already shortened to 5/1 which is bloody annoying as I wanted to have him in a double with my free fiver, have got the single on though.

Making a political donation doesn't make you part of the government.

Outstanding work

Early heads up for the weekend, Romain Perraud doesn't pick up loads of cards but he will be in the unenviable role of "LB up against Sarr" this weekend and 15/2 with 365 is absolutely massive for anyone in that position. I think there's been 5 players booked already this season for bringing him down, in 9 games. Bankes reffing too which is a bonus.

Camavinga, Torro, David Garcia cards in the Real Madrid game, 66/1.

Absolutely hate this.

Honestly don't think any cunt has scored a goal since I posted this.

Aye I've got all overs, all BTTS and all over 1.5 as well.

10th game, goal straight from kick off.

All 10 NL games to have a first half goal at 25/1. 9/10 ffs.

I expected you to take a week off work to prepare a response to that.

100% Michael Cox appearing is a bit of a rarity these days too.

Wish MNF was on tonight.

We used to have a couple of blokes at work who didn't bother with our work 5-a-side games because it made it a waste of time, whoever had either of them on their team would win easily because they'd just run rings round everyone. That's what Mo Salah has been like over the last couple of months, but against some of the world's best players.

Does it have to be a particular game?

Nut

Had Real and Liverpool BTTS/win double, 15/1, so fucking annoyed with that VAR and then that McTominay header that somehow didn't go in.

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on a football pitch. Please don't let it stop.

What's Bob Bradley doing these days?

The only way this Solskjaer reign can get funnier at this point is for Aaron Hughes and Rob Lee to kneecap him in the centre circle after the game. He's an absolute joy.