Sima

Match threads are the only decent thing about our club these days. What a time to be alive.

It's like he's trying to make people think he knows what he's on about, by just making stuff up that he thinks sounds clever Like that scene in Die Hard with the author.

'Typically when a red card is given, referees are quick to go to their pocket again' Based on what?

Send that little wanker off.

I love an instant replay when the ball is in play.

Here man, fuck off Sissoko.

RORO FACTOR!

That poor fucker's getting absolutely battered

Good job we sold Frenchman Demba Ba for £50m.

Full-on karate kick to the chest. Proper de Jong moment.

HALDERA!

Their CB was more creative than Williamson has ever been when he chipped that ball through.

Ewar Woowar

Woodward, Goodman? Who cares.

I'd rather we gave him the Bruce Willis at the start of Die Hard 3 treatment.

Look at Williamson, man. Standing there with his fucking hand up and pointing to the linesman. Cunt.

Shearer would be proud. Nearly bust the net.

Fuck me, some finish.

Krul

McClaren is starting off on the shit-list right away if Colback is captain v Southampton.

To be fair, I'd love to hear Andy Townsend commentate on an NFL game.

This club is rage-inducing. I shouldn't be this annoyed at 4:45 on a Sunday morning.

Saysosko?

It's good to see the mood in the match threads has carried over from last season. It's like we've never been away.