Stu

Pardew and Llambias are apparently in a different camp to Ashley and his drinking buddy JFK. It's going to be total carnage with JFK spouting off each week.

Llllllllllllllllllllllladies aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand gentlemen, Newcastle Untied* FC would like to announce the forthcoming heavyweight event to be staged over the coming months at Barrack Road, NE1. Occasional skirmishes may also take place at Longbenton. In the red corner we have the current reigning champions: Alan 'shite' Pardew and his long-time partner Derek 'wanker' Llambias/Lambezey. Pardew is a recent champion of abuse at NE1, managing to surpass everyone's low expectations through a display of sheer incompetency over the past season, underpinned with a litany of excuses and cliches. His partner, Derek 'I've resigned' Llambias was a former undisputed heavyweight tag team champion, holding the title for a good 18months following his arrival in NE1. He started his career with a deafening wall of abuse and proudly held onto that title through a series of smugly conducted interviews and PR blunders. However, the divorce from his previous partner in crime (FMA) has seen him take a step back in the 'cuntometer' as he actually got on with his job. Their opponents for the next few months, in the blue corner, are the recently reunited kings of chaos, demons of destruction and misers of misery Fat Mike Ashley and Joe 'fucking' Kinnear! FMA aka FCB has long-reigned over the heavyweight lunacy crown, both as an individual and as part of the most successful tag team in recent history: THE COCKNEY BASTARDS. Determined to cling onto top dog status as the most hated individual in the North East, FMA has turned heel on his ex-companion Llambezey and reawakened the spirit of JFK for this mammoth fight. JFK himself is no stranger to the competition, having previously flirted with the title when enjoying a foul-mouthed managerial spell, which was prematurely ended when he suffered a severe stroke, damaging the hippocampus. A return from the grave has seen him thrown straight into this monumental title fight, taking the NUFC world by storm. How long will it take for the first blow to be struck? When will the dividing lines become drawn in blood, rather than the sand? Who will the supporters get behind? Can Pardew escape with his honour in tact? Will Ashley and Llambias ever get back together? Will JFK stay sober enough to remember anyone's name? WHO DO YOU WANT TO EMERGE VICTORIOUS?

Given the potential for upset, are the club allowed to contact the carer or third party on the disabled supporter's behalf?

Swiss Ramble?

Should the club not be encouraged for trying to make football more accessible to families and younger fans? I thought the big problem with football was that it was becoming more "middle class" and pricing out it's traditional working class families. Why is this now a point to discredit the club's attendances?

Ok'ay

Reading through some of the predictions about Suarez and/vs Carroll from Jan 2010:

Why do you say that? Because we'll do better, or just they won't sack him whatever? Because he survived the worst season I've ever watched and we won't do as badly as that next year so there's no reason to sack him. You were born in 2010? I wasn't as bothered about the relegation season because there was so much going on (Keegan, Kinnear, Shearer etc) that it was likely to end badly. There's no excuses at all for how badly last year went and that to me is far worse. How does last season compare to other 'poor' seasons for you? 1997/98: Keegan gone, Kenny Dalglish here. Ferdinand gone, Rush signed. Shearer gone (for the season), Paul Dalglish signed. Title-challenging football gone, Champions League football here. Are a moment of history (Tino) and an appearance at Wembley enough to make up for the sheer contrast between the previous season and this one? 1998/99: Dalglish gone, Mr Sexy Football here. Champions League gone, Cup Winners Cup here. Rush gone, Guivarc'h here. Another Wembley no-show, early European exit and another nothing league campaign for the team that had been genuine title challengers not 2 years removed. Lowered expectations? 2004/05: fresh off our 4th, 3rd, 5th SBR is sacked and Souness is tasked with the job of dismantling his squad right before our eyes. A couple of cup runs are ended by 4-1 thrashings while our best player ends up with a medal but in a different league. 2005/06: a continuation of the Souness debacle is abruptly halted and we dither about looking for a replacement while Roeder is stood holding the fort as we surprisingly qualify for Europe. This was poor season for all that happened OFF the pitch, rather than on it. Shearer broke the record, so I guess it wasn't all bad. 2006/07: Roeder seemingly gets the managers position via osmosis, leads the club to it's first minor trophy since the Texaco Cup of 1992(?). Playing squad continues to be decimated by injury and transfers (both outgoing AND incoming). A decent UEFA cup run is ended when we manage to throw away a sizeable lead against AZ Alkmaar; the inevitability of that 2-0 defeat summed up Roeder's 'style'. 2007/08: New owner, new manager, new success on the pitch? Not so, as Fat Sam is hounded out by the fans thanks to his shocking signings and rubbish football. In hindsight, this may well have been the point when the new owner (FMA) realised that the club couldn't afford to keep pretending to eat at the top table of football clubs and decided to run us within our means. Cue a decade of 'lowered expectations'... 2008/09: won't talk about this - 4 managers, or something.

glad to see the dreadful period of your life that was the 20012-13 season hasn't ended you

1995 - 36,610 capacity 2005 - 52,327* capacity I take your point about the demand to watch the team is dwindling, but a lot of the previous demand was met by the club's supply. Bit harsh to use that as an example of falling support. *various minor additions through the seasons.

By disagreeing you've just entirely validated his post. Twat. desperate Deunce, even for a fisherman such as yourself - thumbing up someone's drunken ramblings

Oh, I missed this his "massively valid point" isn't all that valid when you realise that we were simply ahead of the game in 1998 and that temporary commercial advantage has long since been eroded by the 'bigger' clubs simply realising the change in situation. SJH was one of the first to realise the direction football was heading in after the Premiership was created and he did a fantastic job of setting us up to ride the crest of that wave. Where 'traditional' owners and chairman were reluctant to embrace the change (but not the increased revenues), we surged ahead of them in terms of identifying commercial revenue streams and exploiting them. Nowadays, this is all commonplace for any professional club, let alone a top flight club, across Europe. We enjoyed a brief period in the 90s as "everyone's second team" and "the entertainers" which put a positive spin on the brand; however, years of mismanagement from the top saw that eroded (arguably starting with the sacking of Robson). The subsequent 'fall' of the club in recent years and the economic downturn has only helped to reduce our commercial revenue earnings potential. However, as it has been pointed out in other threads, an increase in turnover isn't necessarily a good sign for the club as a business. Its "great stuff" for the likes of HTT and yourself because its what you want to hear and what you want to read about the club. It also supports your disdain towards the current regime and how the club is ran. It doesn't make it true. EDIT: as Crayola Kid has so eloquently observed, picking the year after we'd finished 2nd and 2nd is somewhat fortunate.

fair play

One in London and one in the North East?

By disagreeing you've just entirely validated his post. Twat. Go on then, what logic did you apply to arrive at that insightful conclusion?

What a pile of misguided, heart-string-tugging codswallop.

18-4 up just before HT, West lose another player to serious injury (26th of the season?)....finished 18-20

Big day of sport ahead: England to beat Australia in ODI @ 5/6 Penrith -10.5 @ 10/11 Queensland Reds v British Lions Over 47.5pts @ 11/10 Trixie.

now you're blaming decades of NUFC-related misery on Pardew?

Didn't end up watching it, got distracted by a shopping trip to Ann Summers (or equivalent) would have been furious watching that second half if they'd let it slip. £250 to start the weekend.

Why is it risky? Roosters are doing alright and the Eels have just told half of their players that they don't want them next season...unsurprisingly, at least 3 of them have refused to play this weekend

Got to be heavy on the Roosters to cover the handicap -12 @ 5/6

Paramatta