SEMTEX

preferred the Irish fella myself. Denis was playing golf. Shame like he was a lot better. My brothers ratings Our goalie - nothing he could do with the goals did well 7 Yorkie 7- He was quite good, tried his hardest James 7 - I wanted him to switch it more but he wouldn't his crosses were good NSG's mate 7.5- I thought he would get done cos he was a big lad, but he did really well Kris 6.5 - He did get done cos he's a big lad, good pass but how he dare he argue with me. Stupeedo- 7.5 he always looked for me in the second half and got us going at half time KenDahl 8- Same as that stu lad, he was great and was gutted his shot hit the bar Me - Meh broken toe, but I was still pretty useless. Ian (Prophet) - He was class chucking himself about like a daft lad 7.5 CP40 (The Old fella ) Kris said he scored two crackers in the last 2 games I think them crowding the box hampered him. 7 Wullie- Same as that CP he just was stuck by the clogging of defence. 6.5 Gorilla - Yeh he stopped some shots was really good 7.5 Dino - Stopped CP doing stuff which is good 7.5 ON - Massive bloke was little chance of me or anyone beating him in the air 8.5 Neil (Boris Johnson) - Really slow was annoyed I didn't beat him but he was good at hoofing it 7.5 Slim - He was really good had a lot of energy 7.5 Neesy Did lots of running like most of their lot which is probably why they beat us. 7 Stu Brown - Too fckin good, Kris told me about him, 2 good goals. Wayne? He was good but he kept slowing their attacks down 7.5 Gimp- I swear his goal was offside, but he was tidy (Thanks for the lift). 7.5 Lurch (Pilko ) he wasn't the fastest but he did ok 7. Bald lad (Dan B ) He was really fast and should have got a goal. 7.5 Bellamy (Rocker) Bit like that bald lad (Dan) he was really fast and should have scored 7.5 Ref - Was he on day release? I'll take that

Similar. I'll be away from August 6th till 23rd.

Also, I've eaten so much fucking food since football. I must've ran a lot.

Significantly more potent than the previous attempt of AJ & Crouch.

CP40 done nothing the whole game and is only .5 worse them me. Jeezuz! I was being kind with their ratings tbh. Consider a blue rating at least 1.5 points lower than it really was.

Fairly uninspired.

THE REAL PLAYER RATINGS: REDS Gambling Gorilla: 6.5 - Good stops but a few iffy moments Neesy: 7 - One of the few people who knows how to SHOUT and generally good performance at RB Optimistic Nut: 10 - Could've lost without him tbh Neil: 7.5 - Rio Ferdinand but alot worse at football Dino: 7.5 - Improved alot as game went on stubrown: 8.5 - By far the most talented footballer on the reds Pilko: 7 - Played well when IN POSITION stu browns mate (england top): 6 - Didn't have the PASSION that the rest of the reds had Slim: 7 dan b: 8 - Amazing linking play by an exceptionally sexy footballer Gimp: 7 NewcastleRocker: 2 - AWFUL header. BLUES (less in formation, apologies) NSG/Nick: 6.5 - Rushed out well in general, but rounded by the gimp... Prophet: 7 - Better at DM then LB imo. Nicks mate (big guy!): 6.5 - Was alright, but aint got nothing on the nut Ken Dahl: 7 - Alot better im mf stupeedo: 7.5 - seemed to control anything the blues mustered up. (not a huge compliment...) Nixon: 7 - seven cos of assist, but chu aint no LB Nixon's bro: 7 - learning trade etc cp40: 6.5 - no sign of that venomous shot Wullie: 6.5 Yorkie: 7 "James" (not sure if that was someone else, sorry): Divvn't nah ----------- The Ref: 6.5 did fuck all. ----------- AWARDS: Worst Player: Ouch. erm... lets go with CP40, cos he said he was gonna cripple me or something shit like that. Most Improved Player ON vs Dino. Man of the Match ON Tackle of the Match Rocker to set up goal Shot of the match Stu goal Block of the match shit award Pass of the match my assist. fuck you all. Sportsmanship award me. now fuck off.

My crossing let me down? You must be fucking kidding me. Perfect cross to rocker and a perfect cross to gimp, both shafted the chance. How dare that reflect upon me!

Worst ratings ever.

7! Suck my cock

Wrong. Was stu, gimp, stu. U assisted the third.

Beautiful assist for the first goal IMO.

Mmmmm pre match magnum classic

Be mint if they rob your camera.

Scratch that. He was showering. Before a match!

... Dino isn't answering his phone...

Pasta n pesto eaten time for cake.

yes bring em along. ignore stu the blue.

time for my pre-match shit.

Has nobody else noticed that we don't have any subs?

I did, but that was before Stu's mate went off camping!

I bought a new pair of boots today. BIG NASTY metal studs and everything. (lying, just hard plastic). I'm trying to wear them in so I'm currently in bed in my pants with my footy socks on and my boots on. I look hot.

Not arsed about this tbh

I want to cut his face off.

I wish cutting people was legal.