Mick

A billion is one thousand million in Britain and America, a billion was one million million in Britain at one time.

Give me a contract and I'll do it.

You really are a ****, see, I did that and can't get banned but we both know what I mean.

I'm taking Incognito's lead, I'm out.

Christ. If the bit in bold is true then why hasn't he done that before he came here? Oh I forgot about that paint pot he won, you're right. Why would anybody have any sympathy for somebody who willingly walked into the job knowing why one of the former managers had taken the club to a tribunal?

I don't really rate Moyes although I think he did a good job with what he had at Everton and is better than Pardew. Martinez would piss all over Pardew with the same set of players as we've got here because I think the way he tries to play is more suited to us than launching the ball from back to front, or going back to basics as Pardew has called it. I would also take Laudrup if he was prepared to work under the constraints which we have here and that being Carr scouts the players. Pardew is hiding behind the sale of Cabaye, we played really well against Norwich when he didn't have time to tinker. The next game, when he'd had time was woeful, that's about the best description I can think of without going into a tirade of abuse about him. Pardew has been here for 150 league games and the football we played during our last few games has been as bad, probably worse than when he came in and took over the team put together by Hughton and Co. 150 league games and we're no closer to having a style of play in the first team and I've seen nothing in the younger players to make me think we're bringing them up in a way that prepares them for first team football. Pardew is a bluffer, a fraud and the mouth piece for Ashley, he's Ashley's apologist and I can't stand him personally or professionally. By that I mean as a person or as our manager, he's shit. I think we both agree he's at best holding us back, for that reason alone he should be given his P45.

You've claimed that our squad is much stronger than it was 3 years ago yet we're in exactly the same position now as then, why should we keep improving the playing staff if we're not seeing any improvement? Surely something is holding the "much stronger" squad back and maybe that's the area we need to strengthen first.

So maybe, just maybe, we need a manager who is capable of getting the best out of the players we have?

If the squad is much better than it was 3 years ago, why were we 9th then (3 years ago today) and are 9th now? What's gone wrong?

I know, it makes you wonder why every other club haven't done a Portsmouth.

You're living on fantasy island man, we're not going to do anything the way you want the club to be run. If we're going to do anything we're going to have to spend some money, something we don't want to do and don't like doing.

I can't say the same about yours.

Maybe you should practice what you preach, just a thought.

You are totally nuts.

Doing badly, as in relegated? We've done that and didn't spend much to do it, I think it might have been £3 million if we're generous.

At the beginning of the season I thought Pardew was going to have us in or around the bottom 3. Things have been better than that and if he was a better manager I don't see any reason to see why we couldn't be at least 3 places higher up the league than we currently are. Your target of 8th is probably 1 place off where we should be if other teams perform the way they should on paper, football isn't played on paper and Man U are poor this season.

Can you only underperform?

Specifically it wouldn't take an awful lot of money to break into the top 6, we did it two seasons ago and Everton look like doing it this season. And why does it bother you how much we spend?

Aye, he was born in Wallsend, divvy.

Last season Everton finished 6th, the season before we were 5th, 2 seasons before that Villa were 6th and we were playing in the Championship. Virtually every season teams do better and worse than expected and better or worse than wages would suggest they'd finish.

The former Thai Prime Minister was born closer to St James than Ashley or Branson, he was born in Wallsend. You probably haven't heard of it though, for your benefit, its to the East of Newcastle.