bobbydazzla

My success ratio in the the ballot is utter shite. Across 2 x memberships and applying as individuals for every game in league and cup I think we've had a couple of wins this season Never fail in general sale though, I get a ticket for every game. Somehow even managed to get a ticket for the Arsenal semi despite the site crashing We've been through this loads of times on this here board, but there's multiple ways to get a ticket this season, you just have to be savvy. e.g. like @Thorpinho and pals ganging together and using Friends & Family linked accounts The ballot is just the tip of the iceberg

Easiest solution for someone in your situation is to get added to the Friends list of someone you know who can do the 10am resale and then they buy a ticket on your behalf, on your account Far from ideal, but it’d get you to the match regularly

Exactly this, met a 60+ aged woman down the boozer earlier who used to go all the time when tickets were easy to come by, said she’d only been able to get to one game in 2 years because she never wins the ballot and doesn’t know how to do resale She’s now given up on even applying for the ballot We won’t have a second date, but I found her insight interesting

If we build a new stadium with significantly increased capacity and they still insist on having daft fucking ballots then they can get to fuck I’ll go and watch the speedway in Byker instead

I’d rather have it slightly empty for those rare very unattractive games than have tens of thousands locked out for the majority of games during the season Why base capacity on the worst case scenario that might happen once or twice a season, that’s just fucking daft

Can we all be honest, take off our black n white tinted spectacles for a brief moment and deal with the 100 tonne elephant in the room… If any daft cunt blows a vuvuzela near me ever again I’m ramming it so far up their arse that they’ll sound like a human kazoo whenever they breathe in, for the rest of their lives. And I won’t use lube either Nothing more to see here, feel free to carry on with your day as you see fit

Teenager stood next to me on the parade route said to his pal “imagine what it’ll be like if we win the league” I tapped him the shoulder, leant in and whispered in his ear “it’s when, not if, bonny lad” At least I think that’s what I said, but I’d had 7 cowies, 11 cans of Budweiser, a huff off a glue bag and sucked down a creamy tac bucket, so I might be mistaken

In the end I just settled for gaffer taping a miniature bottle of Famous Grouse to my winkle

Adopts Attenborough voice: “And here we have, near the banks of the river Tyne, standing in a tree, one of the rarest apes in the world, the Black & White Striped Silverware Gorilla. Last seen 70 years ago, many feared this was an extinct species. But thankfully, it has reappeared today, to greet the homecoming of its victorious troop. A wonderful sight, that it once seemed, we would never, ever see again”

Everything sounds class on glue

You bought one of them wine bottle dildos too ?

The massive LED advertising boards at the Etihad make it absolutely unbearable to watch your home games on telly Like trying to concentrate on a few blokes as they kick a footy around in front of an IMAX

Have decided I’m smuggling some wine into the town moor event, got a nice bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape that I’m decanting into this

Can you ask your mate if he can remember whether any went up rectums ? I like facts, not speculation