Pilko

Got excited til I saw it was that tit Edwards reporting it. Oh well.

Probably a PSR flip, this one. He'll do a year out on loan and be seould for a profit.

I bet those close-knit fawning exclusives with Bruce about him creosoting his fence or having a Sunday roast feel like a lifetime ago for Puke now. He knows no more than anyone else with a well-built twitter feed does.

I'd love to see that, the 'Mediocre Performance Podcast' "Yeah I get up at 8.10am, got to get to work for 9.00am, I usually just about make it on time if the red lights on the main road are in my favour. I make sure I get the triple chicken sandwich in my meal deal because it's better value for money that way"

That podcast in general is pretty nauseating, Jake Humphreys basically just blows smoke up the arse of whoever is on there for an hour. It reminds me of those Inside The Actors Studio interviews from years ago that were kind of the same. That said, Humphreys used to stick up for us on BT Sport when you had idiots like Rio Ferdinand saying Rafa should spend his own money. There was probably him, Colin Murray and maybe one or two select others who weren't Newcastle fans but really seemed to understand and get the Ashley thing and put it forwards properly.

Kolo Muani would be a ridiculous signing like Doubt it's got any legs, if it did you'd imagine we're future proofing against Isak which is no bad thing.

Geremi was really shite but did manage to put a few decent crosses on Owen's bonce and did score a couple in his time. Free kick away to Spurs and a goal in a cup tie at SJP, can't remember who against. He also managed to function well enough in the engine room of the KK 4-3-1-2 at the latter end of the 07/08 season.

Ramsey would be a great signing, a clear upgrade on Willock & Sean and could also slot in wide should the need occur. Eddie would improve him too.

Can anyone give me anything, anything at all positive about Smith? An effective match he had, an assist, any kind of crumb of decency? The goal in the friendly (I was there!) doesn't count - competitive contribution only. Him getting sent off in the closing stages of our away win at Cardiff as we got the promotion season up and running for fouling an opponent on a threatening breakaway is about all I can muster. Even when he did something vaguely good it involved him getting a red card.

Williamson had some poor games for us but he belongs nowhere near a worst ever list. Alan Smith has to win it, for the simple reason that I don't recall him ever having a good game - he was either anonymous or obviously shite - and never even scored once competitively. Suggestions like Butt, Colback, Obertan etc are worthy of mention but did at least have an occasional effective game or chip in with a few goals.

Hope those pints are in Stack so we can stick another twenty quid towards our new right winger.

What a bloody waste of time this bloke has turned into. Really hoping we move on and secure a good alternative soon.

Genuinely think that's the worst red card decision I've ever seen

Definitely start more posts with "this is what you're not understanding". It'll really get people to take notice of your point and doesn't sound at all completely fucking condescending.

Burnley Cat B