Ketsbaia

We'll not even get half his fee back.

12 points with 2 players left. This is obscenely bad.

Forced into a 4pt hit this week and one of my signings was that prick Ayoze Perez. Obviously he did nowt Still might not get 11 out if Rico/Hayden are benched again. The other sub was Richarlison.

I can't believe the rule allows anything more than emergency loans. Someone might like the wages off their bill, or want to be mates with Barcelona for a future 'favour'. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Holy shit, there was a time when we were starting Brian Kerr for comfortable Champions League wins

Branding is not permitted in club names in the English professional game or in the top four levels of non-league either. Dunston UTS had to change their name when they went up this summer. They'd just do what they did in Germany. What would our RB stand for? Radgie Bellends of Newcastle

Tins in the fridge.

Alexander-Arnold is out of this world. Every week.

Blank GW for Man City, Arsenal, Aston Villa and Sheff Utd because of the Carabao Cup Final.

Ashley knows it's hard to put a price on thousands of idiot sheep giving you their money and letthing you do whatever you want.

Aubameyang is becoming a real enemy I never have him and it genuinely feels like he's scored 50 goals this season! He's a real rank-shredder.

Not bothered tbh because I'd be done as well. But ASM, Almiron, Schar, Dubravka and S Longstaff will be out. The rest (Ritchie, Lascelles, Hayden, Gayle, Shelvey etc) will be good at that level. £40m Joelinton will stay because, even if we tried cutting our losses on him, we'd not even get £20m for him.

Fair play to Dubravka, mind. He was class today.

Aston Villa are awful and have terrible games from now til the end. Just have to hope one of West Ham or Bournemouth can't find a way to escape, although the 'hope' of staying up is probably mis-placed.

Looking at the table you'd assume they've had a bad time but have a good run coming up. Nope. Liverpool (a), Arsenal (a), Tottenham (a) and Chelsea (H) in their next six. They've got Wolves too.

4-4, end-to-end blockbuster. Joelinton hat-trick.

Team Rob Lee, mate #neverforget

4-1 now. Dangerous scoreline.

Atalanta 4 (FOUR) - 0 Valencia

De Bruyne with a goal and assist tonight. He's good..... almost Haaland levels of good.

Ilicic, 2-0 Atalanta

Hateboer, 1-0 Atalanta

Haaland will need his own thread soon, such is his rate of remarkable performances.

Or they should just suck it up and play somebody out of position, or change formation, or play one of the many kids they've consistently broken the rules to sign *grumble*. It's not like Barcelona have a famed academy that constantly produces talent either.