Neil

Hercules made a decent start too. Oh well.

They won't. Wenger will vamoose when he really thinks things are on the way down. The Arsenal 'way' in 5 easy steps: 1) Start the season strong, kid yourself that THIS year your players have matured. 2) Win a 'tough' game away from home (ideally somewhere cold and northern - north of Watford will do) to show how mentally tough your players are. 3) Get a few injuries, emphasise that your squad will cope. 4) Squad doesn't cope, but it's OK, because next year, your team will be mentally stronger. 5) Fail to address key weaknesses in team. Start the season strong and claim that this year, your team has what it takes.

I wonder when we'll get to see Arsenal's "mental toughness", Arsene.

What the hell? Scholes got away with that? Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Not even a yellow.

I think Scholes isn't very good at tackling.

Djourou fucked.

Arsenal's season unravels in March: one of the imperative features of a PL season.

Djourou almost beats Almunia.

Wahey, Arsenal have realised shooting improves their chances.

Gibbs man. Just head it towards goal instead of fannying on pulling it back.

Deary, deary me Arsenal.

Will you accuse me of fowl play? Flash a bit of breast and thigh'll let you off. Hen will you stop? Now you're just winging it. You plucked those ones out of thin air. I like the cut of your giblets. That's nice, but I'm too busy watching Star Peck. I like Jean Luc PICARRRRd. I won't egg you on anymore.

Will you accuse me of fowl play? Flash a bit of breast and thigh'll let you off. Hen will you stop? Now you're just winging it. You plucked those ones out of thin air.

If you get a laugh for that after my puns, joeyt, I'll be very annoyed.

A headline win for Kiev. They were bloody favourites for this match.

Corners. You know what? I fucking hate the things.

I hope Kiev are chicken they leave enough men back. That pun will get a laugh eventually.

Just Gareth Barry. Is he this mediocre in other aspects of his life? He's the personification of 6/10.

Wow, Mancini's bringing Tevez on. Technically this means they can't get more defensive. Wonder what's wrong.

Porto are really looking like strong contenders for the Europa League. Winning in Moscow.

Kuyt demonstrating his footballing skill there.

There should really be a football player called ARRRRR.

Not fancy chicken the TV listings yourself?

One of the few good points I can remember about Man City fans. Earlier in the season, when Salzburg's Alan was quite the hit at Eastlands. "Alan, Alan, give us a wave!" Poor bloke, must have been so confused.

BIG AL SCORES