Cheers! Hard to say what the season feels like now tbh. That needs a bit more distance. I feel like this is more of a question about long-term v short term football goals but I’ve got a couple of thoughts so apologies for the dribbling essay about to follow.
I feel weird because I’ve been keeping a bit of emotional distance from Spurs despite moving back to North London. Danny Kelly said something in his post-game podcast about the scars you accumulate as a fan and how you protect them. Some of mine are about the game in general, some are about the weird stresses inherent in the way we play, some are about the insidious and traumatic nature about being a dyed-in-the-wool fan (of any team) that is viscerally affected by the game despite recognizing its absurdity .
My next-door neighbor is a season-ticket holder. He texted me after work to see if I wanted to go down the pub with him to watch it. My response - verbatim, just checked - was “thank you but I am absolutely terrified”. He said simply “me too”. Of course, I did have other stuff to do (like moving a piano) but I watched the last trophy we won in a pub in Sutton Coldfield and the one before in a pub in Stratford (the East London one). Now I’m old and fragile and tired, and I have to try to seem like a normal person around my kids and my wife. It’s easier to hold things together trying to distract myself from the TV with chores that I’m inventing out of thin air.
Is football really trophies over everything? Most local opposition fans - Arsenal, Chelsea, even the odd West Ham fan - have been telling me that for a while. They’ll move those goalposts now - actually some already have done. For me it was always community and family over everything, but really community and family and trophies and good football and progress in a sort of mulch. More satisfying to be good in the league though? - well if you’re old enough, you tell me how satisfied you were with the Keegan years. I’m going to guess broadly incredibly happy and proud but with this weird underlying sense of ultimate unfulfillment. I fucking loved us under Poch for a million reasons, but can‘t deny that the fact he didn’t get to lift a trophy gnaws on me sometimes.
I got a call from my eldest today (15F). She was ecstatic because her school day tomorrow is cancelled…because of Spurs’ trophy parade down the High Rd. There you go - community and family and trophies . My Mum’s in North Middlesex Hospital at the moment and she’ll probably be able to hear the parade (she won’t know what the fuck it is, but if she hears Ange’s voice she might think it’s her Dad). That’s part of why it can be more satisfying than an extremely good league campaign.
I’ll always want us to get better every year and ultimately win everything all the time and force Arsenal back to South London etc etc. It’s almost self-evident that a good league performance this year would have suggested we were on the right track for progress to world domination, and a Cup win - while promoting self-belief and togetherness - doesn’t necessarily do that at all, certainly not when combined with the shambles in the PL. But I’m happy. There are signs for optimism in the squad, some players have got a long overdue reward, we have got access to the CL gravy train even though we are likely to spill it all down our fronts. And the memes will be fucking glorious for a few months.