I had a dream/nightmare last night that I was managing a kids' football team and Alan Pardew was managing the opposition. We just had markers for goalposts and their goalkeeper kept on moving the markers so their goal was smaller and therefore it'd be more difficult to score, I confronted Pardew and he said "I don't care mate, the press aren't going to report this, it's a bladdy kids' game" and I went "Well that's just you all over, isn't it, you cunt". He just smiled. He was a right prick like, was fuming.