Interpolic

Pards: “All the players that have come here have improved, I can’t think of one who hasn’t."

You definitely won't need 40 points to stay up this year - that would involve 1 or 2 teams being marooned at the bottom of the league, which hasn't happened this year.

If you read between the lines of what he's said this week he'd written this game off, annoys me when people suggest those sort of quotes don't affect performances. All too often you can sense a fear-filled performance based on his comments in the build-up.

He survived this last season, btw, even though we were in a relegation battle unlike now - where we're safe. Wey, not only did he survive it, he was given about £85m to spend in January cos he'd earnt it: L 0-1 L 1-2 D 1-1 L 0-2 L 1-2 W 3-0 L 0-2 L 1-2 L 1-3 W 1-0 L 3-4 L 3-7 L 1-2 L 0-2 D 0-0 L 1-2 GS: 17 GC: 32 (i.a.c) Sacked? Yeah, right. Bulletproof man. He'll be bolshier than ever in his interviews after this.

0-10 since Cabaye left. New playing style.

Cool, not 3-0.

Unlucky Alan, class always tells in the end though and you'll have us hitting the heights again soon.

Ooh, it's our favourite scoreline.

If there was a zombie-fuelled apocalypse, would it technically mean this chap wasn't our manager anymore?

Highs!

Whoever does it will get the usual "It must be so difficult playing devil's advocate, I don't know how you do it in the face of such opposition" treatment.

Gets every call right, this chap.

"We've done a fantastic job".

Ben Arfa will come on soon, this is a perfect opportunity to throw him on in a hopeless situation and use it as an excuse to give him next to zero minutes for a month.

Always shite against Spurs, Krul. I couldn't care less about this game tbh. Starting to laugh every time we concede, not good.

My perception is that training's generally pretty outstanding but unfortunately the players agree amongst themselves to play like shite, on the sly.

Our Plan B is usually really good tbf, gives me optimism.

Oh good.

Stats overdose.

Some magic on the bench man, some people are never happy.

3 fat ladies, 888.

All managers say ignore your eyes, look at the stats. All of them, all of the time. Stop fucking nitpicking.

If I could say whatever I wanted at work and not be held accountable whatsoever for it, then I'd probably come out with some proper mad patter as well.

Might as well watch games live on WhoScored rather than going to SJP. Wow! He's on fucking fire lately.