cookidge

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Fyp Quite right!

A friend of a friend at uni said they had had sex with him in a room full of mirrors.

9.5 now. Just feel hopeless again after watching that.

It wasn't a great game. But with an international break I think we'll beat Norwich

Townsend off? Really??

I'm so fucking done. I hate this.

Good keeper tips that over the bar. Positioning was shocking for the Defoe shot. f*** him. Fair enough. But I didn't expect him to save the earlier chance. They're all shit and leaving defoe on his own in the box is criminal.

It's not elliot. You can only get hit with shots so many times before one goes in. He saved a good header near the start of the half. Everything has come down our left. We're letting too much in on that side. This is embarrassing, especially at home. Make the right substitutions and we can still win this.

I hate my life

Thought that was a bit silly and rushed there.

Perez is so clever

And no confidence at all It was simple. Hold the ball up and wait for someone to get in the box. If you lose it then fair enough. But don't try and kick it across three defenders on the floor.

Sissoko has the decision making ability of a badly made cake.

He's useless

That yellow has won me 25 quid

So nervous!

If it's a good result today I might have to pull a sickie. Might be texting the boss that I'm not 100% at full time.

Mitrović Wouldn't have even had a shot with most of those opportunities. Defoe can seemingly make a chance out of nowhere. It's what you need in side like ours.

Oh it's Kevin Nolan

I'm in the pub and there's nothing else on. I have a feeling they'll only turn the volume up for the later derby. Cunts

Haven't seen any of Johnson's key contributions in the Sky coverage yet.

This montage of defoe is making me shit myself a bit.

They even brought up his no wins in 2016 stat. Shouldn't have sold cabaye, ah hang on..?

Goals on Sunday. Not Pardew's fault apparently. It's a matter of confidence haha. Not a mention of him not being good enough. Whereas martinez got roasted earlier for a bad game.