David Edgar

Dummett keeps giving away the ball.

Lukaku is a joke.

CAIRO!

Please have Burnley make a complete fundamental tactical switch halfway through the season with an unproven pacey striker Who are they kidding. Big Ash Barnes IN.

We desperately need someone for the weekend. Not like we could hold off.

That's nonsense. It is all Dyce. You watch Burnley and they play to his tune of lump it to sarge.

A 1 in 3 Prem striker a mental signing eh?

Good shit this. Gonna thump one in at the weekend and become a hero.

Positive talks though. "Your striker looks lovely." "Gee, thanks." SSN understands that Newcastle have held positive talks over striker.

Yeah, we need to instill some proper internet transfer comment Ekitike

Varying up the language, but aye.

1 goal every 3 shots. That's just not sustainable.

Looks like he's on a really lucky shooting streak which isn't sustainable at all?

This guy is gonna be a boss. I can smell it.

Ah, reality. Hello.

Everyone now beavering away constructing shitty timber puns. Dam.

Villa are building a temperamental squad. All fun and exciting on paper mind.

I maintain that Digne isn't elite and we'd only be upgrading him in a year or two. Probably wants Villa cos it is an easy commute to London.

Aston Villa This guy

Great signing by *checks notes* Arteta.

I think he created 2 or 3 high XG chances, including from his corners. He is instantly our best player. God, I hope whatever promises that were made to bring him into the club are kept.

That shot. That fucking shot. Fucking hell.