Skeletor

Gouffran

Can't remember when I last got excited about us winning a corner.

Not sure if this is football or a funeral.

Apparently Remy Cabella is a fans favourite now. Last time I checked people thought he was a flimsy, pansy who hasn't delivered any thing.

What an endorsement with the litany of great English managers in the league.

Draw us to those 3 points today boys.

'It'd be nice to win but the most important thing is to get the 3 points today'

'Full week to prepare' Shut up Carvdew.

'I changed things because I felt we needed more balance' Good thing we didn't need that before.

'Pardew said Cabella wasn't ready yet...is it now possible that Pardew is a lying cunt that he's adapting?'

Little Rolando tore them a new arsehole earlier in the season. He would be the first name on the team sheet for the game against them.

Palace directly below us now.

Find 3 random people with differing accents and pass them off as Newcastle fans.

Carragher smirking about Carver getting the job.

The cunt always put together a run of wins with us followed by a huge crash in results. Hopefully their crash will be epic.

FFS

5-0 Chelsea

Subs: Woodman, Santon, Williamson, Abeid, Ameobi, Armstrong, Riviere.

(4-3-3): Krul; Janmaat, Coloccini ©, Dummett, Haidara; Sissoko, Anita, Colback; Cabella, Perez, Gouffran. Gouffran again

4-0 Chelsea

Beautiful.

Great day so far.

Can't wait to hear about Carver's favourite brand of sunscreen.

If Carver wins today it will be announced in his post-match interview.