Skeletor

Charlie Austin seems unlikely to me. Waiting for Riviere mark 2.

Does not compute.

Stone Cold Charlie Austin is exactly the kind of English player we should be signing. A nice change from the Williamsons, Raylors and Colbacks we usually sign.

Isn't Simon Bird basically the only one who isn't banned?

He's not wrong there.

Probably been practising his Geordie accent all holiday and now won't get to do it.

Curtis

Lee Charnley said it ages ago. Hence head coach and not manager.

Now that we have a manager who is a) Friends with Carr and b) Agreed to have no say in transfers things better start becoming efficient. Won't hold my breath though.

Come home sweet prince.

Woooooooo

This gets me more excited. Throw Woodman in to the mix too.

No surprise.

He's ending it in the desert surrounded by dead, foreign workers. Like paying attention to Henry going to MLS, like i give a fuck Fuck off bashing MLS. MLS is gonna be the top league in the world in a century, man. POTY

Oh good an advert for Sky Sports using that Collymore goal commentary.

This will never stop being ridiculous.

Goal

Alves deserved that tbf.

Let's not get carried away.

If it was Siem De Jong he'd have disintegrated.

Suarez having a boy who cried wolf moment.

Sunderland legend Fernando Llorente coming on.