David Icke - Son of God

Some daft lad on a Blackburn messageboard who is apparently going to "reveal" a big signing for us the'neet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mat%C3%ADas_Fern%C3%A1ndez Could he be the signing Nicko's is talking about?

What were you saying about 'Pewl fans, Wullie?

Get it done.

Suprise, suprise

I hate the people that brought him here but I pitied him. It can't have been nice going out week after week and being made to look a complete fool of.

I've just realised we'll sign this lad on loan and be paying him a month or twos wages wile he's kicking a ball around in Beijing. I hope it isn't true.

To be fair the Rossi deal was comedy gold simply because Roeder lied through his teeth. "Yes Sir Alex, he will be playing every week"

Jenas was a pain too, but that was because he was shit and Robson kept playing him.

Alan Oliver? Wouldn't surprise me. He was on Sky Sports before that Reading game telling everyone how Roeder wouldn't be getting the sack. Low and behold a game or two later.....

There doesn't need to be any rhyme or reason behind it, but which players could you not stand when they were playing for us? For some reason I couldn't abide Scott Parker. He embodied everything I disliked about the way Souness had got us playing. He was slow, dirty and very rarely played the ball forwards. Obviously, it goes without saying I supported him and the team when they were playing but I was chuffed to bits when we got rid.

He's from Spain and is a Newcastle defender therefore he's s***. FYP. Worringly enough that was pretty much word for word what I was originally going to post

BSA bought him then kept him on the bench therefore it doesn't matter how good he was in the second half of the season he's shit.

You lost me at TribalFootball, to be honest. Joke of a website.

I'm also going to guess your Scouse mate hasn't seen Enrique, just read that he's shit in the press?

If that's how Keegan is running the youth team he'll be getting a visit from the Polis very soon.

Bollocks. He's still sitting in De Kuip looking for "that tall, Ginger Dutch lad"

Not sure if Hartlepool will sell him. I think we should just be able to lure him away.

Beige Farah strides Jose? Sort yourself out, man.

After all this if we don't get Michael Nelson i'm going to be REALLY annoyed.

You wear really tight undies don't you? Let them breathe man! I believe we are in a stronger position if we both bid. The premier league is really popular right now, there are a lot of top Argentinians here all doing really well and we just signed an Argentinian ourselves! Enjoy the speculation we are in with a very good chance afterall. Modric didn't come and we're all still alive right? Chill. I'm a commando man, actually. I'm not even entirely sure we're in for him so i'd rather stay calm and wait and see. There are some over excitable twerps on here who'll no doubt bemoan the lack of ambition by the club if the signing doesn't materialise.

I'm seeing a familiar pattern here

Some people on here sounding far too assured and setting themselves up for a fall. By the sound of it Benfica are still in pole position and we're going to need to act quickly if we even stand a chance. He may want to come here, he may want to go there and play under his former coach. Either way I certainly don't think it'll be down to lack of ambition or offering small wages if we do miss out, just bad luck. Lets wait for something concrete before getting our hopes up, aye?

Cole - Finished school, went to the shop and bought a packet of Premier League stickers with Cole in, got home and bragged about it to my family before my Grandma told me he'd been sold. I watched the North East new and cried for most of the night. Shearer - School holidays, sitting watching the kids TV when the phone rang and it was my mam shouting down the phone "We signed Shearer! We signed Shearer!", I checked Ceefax and ended up watching it for most of the day as the story unravelled. Keegan leaving: In school, Mackem dinner lady broke it to us. I didn't believe her until I got home and saw it on Ceefax. Signing Owen was a funny'un. The house was getting decorated so we didn't have a TV. I was listening to 5 Live just before I was about to go out on my driving lesson and it was announced. My instructor, who was a huge Toon fan, didn't know anything about it so I broke the news to him. We ended up just driving up and down Team Valley with the radio on, him occasionally shouting, "Gerrin! We've beat the Scouse bastards!" Best driving lesson of my fucking life

But...but NE5 said we never missed out on players because of stuff like this?