David Icke - Son of God

Stop mentioning Keegan and Shearer. These appointments would only get the mentally unstable on SSN excited.

I think if you've paid 450 quid for a season ticket, not to mention the cost of away games, to be bored shitless you've got the right to be impatient. People will put up with it if the team wins but they won't if they see them lose trying to stop the opposition from playing. The paying customers are the ones that got Allardyce sacked imo - they want to see the team win or they want entertainment. The teams you mention are far more entertaining than us this season at least imo, and shown more ambition in their football, even if their points tally isn't significantly better. I'm going to commit a cardinal sin here.... If you don't like it, don't go. The attitude of some of the fans is having a detrimental effect on the club as a whole because 'the football isn't entertaining' or 'the results aren't good enough'. To me this smacks of the whole 'rather lose 4-3 than win 1-0' argument again. Our fans are seen as fickle and rightly so, we were massively spoilt under Keegan and SBR and some fans fail to realise that. They think success can be achieved instantly, well it can't. Every manager needs time and it's a crying shame BSA wasn't given it. When the next managerial appointment comes in and it's not Mourinho/Lippi/Hiddink etc. then how long will it take for the booing to start again?

The word 'bollocks' comes to mind

I'm so used to this kind of rhetoric from the club i'm not expecting anything amazing. I know it's under a different owner now but this is Newcastle United, remember? We're going to fuck it up royally.

We can't really blame the booing this season and the numerous amount of stupid, reactionary, knee jerk bullshit coming from our fans about Allardyce on Fat Fred, can we? He's managed club and country at the same time before, hasn't he? Probably prefer him over Mourinho, but there's still no chance.

Hadn't Chelsea just finished second, got to the semi-finals of the Champions League and had an owner who had proven the previous season he was willing to spunk more cash than anyone else in the history of the game? Newcastle is a small fish in a big pond, Mourinho is a big fish in a big pond. We're not going to get him. No need to take the piss over there you know. We're not all delusional. The delusional fucker to levelheaded poster ratio is getting more stretched by the minute.

Hadn't Chelsea just finished second, got to the semi-finals of the Champions League and had an owner who had proven the previous season he was willing to spunk more cash than anyone else in the history of the game? Newcastle is a small fish in a big pond, Mourinho is a big fish in a big pond. We're not going to get him.

Wow. Your superior "I'm a smart arse" skills have really flattened me there. I feel like a right berk. Here, have a biscuit and f*** off. Was merely bringing up a small known fact. JM declined because he knew SBR would never step down as manager as was proposed in the deal. If you'd bothered your arse you'd know that little known fact has not only been mentioned by myself but everyone else in here.

Wow. Your superior "I'm a smart arse" skills have really flattened me there. I feel like a right berk. Here, have a biscuit and fuck off.

why is it so unrealistic?... logic: hardest club to manage = perfect for someone who had someone who had the balls to do it Because every other club in the world would love to have Mourinho as manager. Why would he take the hard route when he could take the easy route and stand a much, much, much smaller chance of ruining his managerial reputation? As i've said many times before the sacking of Allardyce would result in us getting someone with a similar track record in for a larger amount of money or a small name from the lower leagues on a small amount of money. Anyone who even thinks he's contemplated this job needs to give their head a firm shake.

It's Redknapp, isn't it? Seems almost nailed on.

Newsflash: It'll not be Mourinho. We are not a big club. We do not have a chance of winning Silverware in the near future. We are 11th. We'll be lucky to qualify for Europe. We're seen as fickle by the media, other fans and probably other managers. THERE IS NO F****** CHANCE! The timing is just bad, there is no world class name lined up. If there is, i'll show my arse in Fenwicks Christmas window.

I'd love to see how long he lasts in the stands if he does appoint Redknapp/McLaren/Hughes etc.

I dare not guess.

He was offered the assistants job

By Christ, you're probably right! Quick, write him an e-mail

This gives me some hope

ferguson Ferguson has transcended being British

Him or someone of a similar caliber are the only managers we should have made this decision for.

There is no goo British manager about at this current time. If there was he would've went to Ingurlund.

Christ, how much more vague could I have got? There is no way the person in question would ever reach Gary Neville's standard!

I heard that nothing happened. Allegedly.

Used to be fantastic but over the past few months it's been modded to fuck, all the best posters have been banned for fairly pathetic reasons and the humour has all but been sucked out of it by Roger, Streaker and co. The Pure Football forum was the icing on the cake as it began to divide the posters and made the SMB a kind of limbo between the PF (Football) and the Parnsip (Off topic). The mods have shot themselves in the foot by trying to accommodate the numpties who've caused this mess. Serves them right.

Butt may be suffering from Obafemi Martins syndrome, but I do believe he's been one of our best players this season.

Obviously, this isn't completely objective. You've got to take into account my personal prejudices and my own expectations of players. Using a scale of 1-10. 1 being Fumaca, 10 being a non-injured Woodgate and 5 being average. Goalkeepers Shay Given - In my opinion, still the best 'keeper in the league even if he has looked a bit shakier this season. His kicking is still gash and he still doesn't command his area as well as he should but he stops the ball going in the net when he's able to. Not really much more you can say about him (7/10) Steve Harper - I'm still haunted by the memories of his short spell in the side during Given's injury last season but when BSA called upon him to play earlier this year he looked like the Harper everyone used to say would get into the England squad if he could hold down a first team place. I've never seen a man so happy to waste his career getting a sore arse on the Newcastle bench. Loyalty or lack of ambition? (6) Tim Krul - I haven't seen him but a quick look on a Falkirk messageboard tells you that he's quite liked. It must be hard to carve out a reputation as a decent goalkeeper when your side is conceeding 4 and 5 on a regular basis. The fact he's sticking it out there for the next six months tells me it's a problem with the defence rather than him. (5) Fraser Forster - He's from Hexham. There is no way he's as posh as his name suggests. (-) Defenders Stephen Carr - If Peggy Mitchell was our manager and not an East End landlady she'd have used her large, cockney gob to shout "Gerr'aaat my club!" at him a long time ago. An abortion of a defender who's main tactic seems to be backing off. (4) Habib Beye - A brilliant signing in a position we sorely needed some investment in. Willing to get forward and support the attack, while he's competent at the back. He looked like he could go either way in his first few games but thankfully, he's shown his class. Gets an extra couple of points for lending his name to one of the best songs in living memory (8) Peter Ramage - Whether it be through injury or through sheer shitness he hasn't been near the first team this season. I expect to see him playing in Yellow and Green before the end of 2008 (3) David Edgar - It seems fashionable to bash our youngsters (see above), but from what i've seen of him he looks competent. Nothing special but worthy of being a squad player at least (5) Steven Taylor - Seems to have regressed and taken up Bramble's mantle of being the most reckless defender at the club. Yes, he's more than willing to walk over hot coals to stop us from conceeding a goal but he needs to calm down. Maybe the England call up went to his head? (5) David Rozehnal - Brilliant against Bolton, but has slowly gotten worse as the season has went on. Maybe the crowds reactions have got to him? I don't know, but it's a shame to see someone who quite clearly had potential to get better at the start of the season get much poorer. Him needing treatment yesterday after he shirked out of a 50/50 sums up his season so far. (4) Cacapa - Started out being our best defender, had a complete 'mare against Pompy but has shown his level headedness and stepped back up. It's quite clear his confidence took at knock but he's shaken off the press' labels of Bramble mk. II and got on with it. (7) Abdoulaye Faye - When we signed him I was at a bit of a loss. We seemed to have enough centre backs and enough centre midfielders so his purchase just smacked of BSA signing a player he quite fancied from his old club. I'm glad he did. The best signing of the season so far. I don't think he's had a bad game yet for us. Fingers crossed we'll get lucky with injuries and when the ANC finishes we can play both him and Cacapa (9) Jose Enrique - Has managed to become the best ever Spaniard to have played for Newcastle while barely setting foot on the pitch. I'm confused as to why BSA seems to do everything in his power to avoid playing him as, along with Cacapa, he looked like the most complete defender in his first few games. He's got enough physically to deal with the Premiership and hasn't dropped any major clangers. We need to see more of him before we can judge him properly (6) Midfielders James Milner - Committed but i'm not convinced he's ever going to be good enough to be anything more than a half decent winger. His lack of pace and lack of a final ball mean he's frustrating to watch. I actually think Allardyce had a point playing him on the left as it meant he could cut in more, rather than stepover his way to the byline and cross right into the 'keepers hands. (6) Geremi - Has proven at Real Madrid, Boro and Chelsea he's not a poor player, so why is he so shite for us? Just seems to vanish from games, only to reappear when a freekick needs booting into the wall. (4) Emre - Excels at coming off the bench after 70 minutes when everyone knackered and looking half decent, then starting the week after and not getting a touch. I used to think it was bad luck but now I think he can join that long list of players who can't perform to their best because they don't get the time they need in the Premiership (5) Joey Barton - Listen to him in an interview and he'd have you believe that he can't even play Monopoly without being asked to go to jail and not to collect his £200's in the process. Watch him on the pitch and he's a nasty little fucker. I was willing to forgive that as at Citeh he always looked like a nasty little fucker but with a bit of game. Like Geremi, he seems to have left that at his last club. (4) Nicky Butt - I can't believe we nearly let him go. It would've been a disaster. Has for the past two seasons proved his worth by consistantly being the best midfielder at the club. If ever you could tell someone was from Man United's youth set up in the early 90s it's him. (9) Charles N'Zogbia - If we've found out one thing this season it's that he's a good left back. We need to play him in in his prefered position more often, possibly even in the centre. He's one of the few players we've got that can take his man on. Hopefully BSA will take note that Enrique can play left back and let this lad do his thing. (7) Damien Duff - It's baby steps for Damien. He had a shocker last year but in his few games back he's looked decent enough. If Sam can nurse him back to full fitness he could well play a large part in our season. (5) James Troisi - Looks like an Australian Daniel Cordone. (-) Strikers Obafemi Martins - Patches where he can do no right are quickly becoming his trademark. There's no one else at the club i'd like to see suddenly become world class than him but I can't see it happening. He can't use his pace effectively, his first touch his none existant, his decision making is poor and his finishing seems to go to pot unless he's 30 yards out and needs to fire one like an exocet into the top corner. (6) Michael Owen - Looks like he doesn't want to be here and who can blame him? The only world class striker we've currently got at this club but he's no use if he's injured or playing in a side which creates one decent chance a game? I'd like to see him stay and watch Allardyce build the team around him but that's doubtful (6) Alan Smith - In the same boat as Milner. Committed, but not good enough. His stints in midfield have been awful and the fact he's yet to get off the mark can't be helping his campaign to become one of our first choice strikers. Destined to run around like a headless chicken in midfield getting booked until the end of time, methinks. (5) Mark Viduka - I can see him and Owen carving out a patnership as they've both got the best footballing brains out of our strikers but in a side that doesn't create enough I can't see it happening any time soon. I'm shocked he's scored as many as he has for a player as immobile as he is in a side as inconsistant as we are. (6) Shola Ameobi - "Tonight on Channel 4 a Faking It special, where Foluwashola Ameobi reveals how he managed to masquerade as a professional footballer for nearly 8 years without detection. Don't miss it!" (3) Andy Carroll - His drinking exploits when out with the England u-19s make him sound like he could be another waster. (-) And the others... Sam Allardyce - Has both rightly and wrongly came under criticism from some of the fans. Some of his team selections have left me scratching my head in disbelief but some people seem to be more than willing to put the noose over his neck and open the trap door, giving the press another Newcastle based story that makes us look like fickle tossers. Should be kept for the rest of the season, and barring a minor miracle involving Jose Mourinho, Mike Ashley and a very persuasive phone call, given beyond that too. (5) Chris Mort - Professional, quiet, smart and seems to be more than willing to build bridges with the fans to make this club one to be proud of. Some many worlds apart from our last incumbent it's frightening. (8) Mike Ashley - The man with the money, and the most well worn Newcastle replica top in the world. All but cleared the debts, has came out of every take over rumour looking even more respectable and seems to have developed a genuine affection for the place. He's done no wrong yet but lets wait until next summer and see how eager he is to get out his cheque book. (8)