BlueStar

Cattermole you filthy fucking cunt.

A mod's spilled beer on his phone I think.

GOAL PIE!

Shola with his patented "octopus falling out of a tree" style again.

Got absolutely nowt going forward like, can't just go on like this for another 40 minutes. Need something to get it out of our half for a bit.

Jetlag

They're trying to give me a fucking heart attack some of these lads like.

We're gonna get someone sent off, aren't we? Just to top it off.

Let's hope Webb sees a TV at half time. Although we know refs never try to 'even things up'...

BBC Live Text 1215: A HUGE let-off for Sunderland. Simon Mignolet fails to deal with the corner and Shola Ameobi nods it back for Joey Barton to divert it goalwards. His header is going in, until it hits Seb Larsson on the line... Replays show Larsson stuck out an arm to keep it out, but referee Howard Webb and his linesman both fail to spot it. Newcastle have to settle for a corner instead... and Barton is furious. 1218: So, by rights, Newcastle should have had a penalty there, and Sunderland should be down to 10 men. No wonder the Black Cats fans cheered the decision when Howard Webb had finished speaking to his linesman. Joey Barton, by the way, is still having his say to the referee. Expect him to be busy on Twitter later...

Handbags...

Phew, let off there.

David Milliband in the stands.

A Mackem's been nicked in the stadium already

Sunderland can't win by any decent margin man, if they put three past us they'll all be New Monkey dancing on the pitch till the game's abandoned.

Like listening to someone in an abusive relationship, isn't it. "You won't be laughing when he proposes to me and buys me a ring" "My dad is too coming back and he's gonna take me to Disneyland!" Followed by "I didn't want to go to Disneyland anyway, and he's saving the money so we can buy a house together, you'll see!" It'll be "He's being sensible, not letting us be held to ransom, stopping us from doing a Leeds like we would have done under Freddie, we need him" Then if by some miracle we suddenly spend this "loads of money" it won't be "Oh no, he's going to bankrupt us" it'll be "Look! Look! He spent some money, isn't he so great and handsome."

Mysteriously enough, the Irish Garda lost the folder of evidence shortly after he failed the roadside test if I recall.

Unforgivable going into this game with no left-back and having to play Ryan Fucking Taylor there when we've all known Jose was on his way this window for... How many months?

What Caulkin refers to as "the marginalising of senior players".

Give him a go anyway. Then Harper up front and we're sorted. Better than doing something stupid like playing Perch.

It's OK, St Niall can drink-drive them home to their parents before midnight.

You keep your score no matter when you join the league.

Have the mackems not learned a lesson about over-confidence after the way they went on before the 5-1? Apparently not.

You can drag them around to change the order.

Sent one ticket to my dad and the rest to me