Keefaz

What the fuck was that? Shittest dive in history.

Wellbeck is unimpressive.

Gary Cahill with a proper cowie face.

I've heard of a move some of the big teams are doing called a '1-2'. Dunno if something like that's worth a go.

Vintage Van Bommel.

The new Wembley has never been very impressive. Good night out, food's not bad, and they keep a decent enough cellar.

Judging a team after 13 mins Aye, I've seen none of these players before.

Tried to force the ball twice: lost the ball twice.

Holland look balls in comparison to sides of old.

Passing out of the back there was like watching Newcastle. Absolutely nail-biting stuff.

Aye. England kit looks quite boffo as well.

Nice backpass.

Good tackle that.

Lovely, laid-back anthem.

Well, aye, it's Wembley.

Aye me too. Exiting right now in fact. Going to watch Waterloo Road. First class punmanship right there.

Can I really be arsed to watch this balls? The bigging up of Stuart Pearce is fucking nauseating. Gash manager.

Because Sunderland are rubbish and that goes double whenever we play them and double their crapiness again whenever they play at SJP.

Is he really that bad? Flick back ten pages and he was getting mad props. Again, I suspect it's a case where he's a decent player when the team's playing well, but his limitations are highlighted when we're playing poorly (collectively).

Score goals? Take decent set pieces? Squint?

Not saying it's a huge problem at the moment (although, it might have made a difference on Saturday), but you need someone to stand up, I think, when things start going south. It's all very well being a nice "group of lads", but someone's got to nut up when times are tough otherwise it can all descend into finger-pointing. Also, I want to care about whoever is doing an interview and that he is a club man. No offence meant, but I don't give a toss what Jonas or Ba or Danny Simpson has to say. When Speed gave an interview, for example, the pub would hush down.

Seems to be clear now that, since the departure of Barton and Nolan, we're lacking a real leader on the pitch. Someone who'll kick team-mates' arses (and the ref's), take a game by the scruff of the neck and take responsibility for what's happening on the pitch. When Shearer, Speed, Given, Nolan, etc. came out after a game and gave an interview, you felt their words meant something as they felt responsible for the team's performance in some way: who's our man to do that now? And is there anyone doing it in the dressing room?

Seems unbelievable to me that we can be marked so badly in comparison to the wankers of Man Utd, Liverpool etc. whose players are despicable both on and off the pitch, and their managers likewise. The Fair Play thing is utter balls.

We don't have the fewest yellows and reds.