Keefaz

If Barnes is serious about this, he should find out where the problem is. It's likely to be quite a complex issue and not just as simple as, "Oh, chairmen are racist."

Aye. Logically, there should be a hell of a lot more black coaches than there are currently. But if it is racism then where is the problem? At board level? I'd like to know how many black coaches go do their badges.

Huh?

"As far as I know, he [saylor] is still at the club at the moment. Whether anything has happened that I don't know about is a different matter but I'm pretty sure he'll be playing on Wednesday. "Him asking to leave or leaving is not something that I'm aware of. I haven't been told by anyone that there has been a bid and I'm sure that I would be informed by someone if anything like that had happened." Poor sod. He obviously knows nowt. Shit position to be in, tbh.

It's a student pub with roof terrace near Central Station. It's not bollocks, it's alright, tbf. Last time I was in there Bluf ruined any chance me and ChezGiven had of getting any pills. Funny, last time I was there some kids came over and asked me if I was selling pills.

And Obafemi Martins.

It's a student pub with roof terrace near Central Station. It's not bollocks, it's alright, tbf.

I am Marley's faithful servant.

Was it "Goalkeeper! Where arrreee you??!" "LET'S BE HAVING YOU... goalkeeper."

No word from Marley the Dog? Not sure how much credence we can give to this, then.

Possibly the worst thing ever written by an adult. Well done, Paul.

It's nowt. Won't happen.

'specially when Elvis belts out the Blaydon Races at half-time.

Same here. Sheff Utd are a different story however... wouldn't say a soft spot but i do keep an eye out for their results as one of my best mates is an owl. and yes he was there for the 8-0. we got him a blue pint for his trouble afterwards. he got very very drunk indeed. The last time I had a blue drink, I woke up in some strange man's flat in Blaydon with a mouthful of down-filled pillow. aye. sorry about that. Tbh, it wasn't the fact I'd been violated, but that you didn't even call the next day even though you promised me. :'( it's because i'm shy. hence the mask. Yes, I did wonder why you chose to dress up as Frankie Dettori. it's the silks rubbing against me. Jesus Christ.

Same here. Sheff Utd are a different story however... wouldn't say a soft spot but i do keep an eye out for their results as one of my best mates is an owl. and yes he was there for the 8-0. we got him a blue pint for his trouble afterwards. he got very very drunk indeed. The last time I had a blue drink, I woke up in some strange man's flat in Blaydon with a mouthful of down-filled pillow. aye. sorry about that. Tbh, it wasn't the fact I'd been violated, but that you didn't even call the next day even though you promised me. :'( it's because i'm shy. hence the mask. Yes, I did wonder why you chose to dress up as Frankie Dettori.

Same here. Sheff Utd are a different story however... wouldn't say a soft spot but i do keep an eye out for their results as one of my best mates is an owl. and yes he was there for the 8-0. we got him a blue pint for his trouble afterwards. he got very very drunk indeed. The last time I had a blue drink, I woke up in some strange man's flat in Blaydon with a mouthful of down-filled pillow. aye. sorry about that. Tbh, it wasn't the fact I'd been violated, but that you didn't even call the next day even though you promised me. :'(

Same here. Sheff Utd are a different story however... wouldn't say a soft spot but i do keep an eye out for their results as one of my best mates is an owl. and yes he was there for the 8-0. we got him a blue pint for his trouble afterwards. he got very very drunk indeed. The last time I had a blue drink, I woke up in some strange man's flat in Blaydon with a mouthful of down-filled pillow.

I believed that up until there, including the talking fast bit. This should be the go-to example for any budding ITK. Look at the small touches than bring a sense of realism, and the fact he's written it in first-person also lends authenticity to the piece. Great work.

Play Fog On The Tyne backwards and you'll hear grave warnings about 'the reign of a sharp-dressing, Edinburgh-born man who rules with fear, an iron fist and ill-thought battleplans'. If only we'd listened.

They probably went there specifically so they could discuss it in utmost privacy. Good work, Dave, lad.

Is he modelling himself on this fella: http://www.bbc.co.uk/wiltshire/entertainment/theatre/images/eubank_203x152.jpg

Did anyone ever see the 'Toon car' that was in the BALTIC ages ago? It was some daft lad's car that he'd painted B&W and on which he'd scrawled the names of random Newcastle players. I was reading them, "Dyer, Beardsley, Shearer, Emerton, Bar--Hold, on. Emerton?" Maybe we did actually sign him and no one noticed?

Same here. Sheff Utd are a different story however... Sheffield Utd always remind me of: a) mackems, and b) Sean Bean. As such, they are quite loathable.

What train was it? Has the train been right in the past? I only ask, because I know for certain (from a pal of my dad) that a member of the mackem coaching staff was on a train once. Maybe it was the same one?

You've confused me properly now I don't know what is made up rumour and what is equally bollocks but actually passed on rumour... Maybe Dave's way of doing it is a better idea for a thread, tbh.