Keefaz

Don't be a twat, it doesn't suit you. Well stop being a big nancy. He's played 60 minutes-ish and looked completely shite. Don't think he's done one thing right yet. Oh well if he's played for an hour, sorry, I didn't realise you'd scouted him so thoroughly. If we're not going to sign players who've had a poor game against a top class international side, 2-0 up and on fire, we're going to have a very short list of players to choose from this summer, not to mention Michael Owen will have to be first out the door. He's not done anything this tournament (even though he's had a whole hour!) but bloody hell man, genuinely judging him is absolute nonsense. Dave has replied for me.

I think Keefaz is very good at it, praise where praise is due. Um. Th-thanks, Mick.

Why the hate, Tooj?

Don't be a twat, it doesn't suit you. Well stop being a big nancy. He's played 60 minutes-ish and looked completely shite. Don't think he's done one thing right yet.

Sorry, Wullie. He looks mint. Don't know why people are talking about Robben and Van Persie as Gomis was clearly much better than either. Barely put a foot wrong all match, made a massive impact, looks composed, good on the ball, has good awareness.

Not really. Henry of old would've pulled that off no problems.

He does, tbh.

Sorry, but Gomis looks shit.

Presumably that's been his plan at Chelsea, an all.

Malouda can fuck right off. Looks totally half-arsed.

Think Ribery is the only one who might make something happen for France, but he's getting closed down very early. Engelaar looks a bit ropey in comparison to his performance against Italy.

France look like they couldn't give a toss.

ITV has confirmed their shiteness during this tournament. Actually think Zenden has been their best pundit, which says something.

Eye-tyes cannot score!

This is what I think. Don't think he'd work out for us at all.

Thanks, mate!

I think he has a point. We should work on making Newcastle warmer. How else are we going to attract or keep players? I hope Wise is looking at possible solutions.

Now the Turks go out on an all-night stabathon to celebrate.

Maybe they'll keep him around as team mascot.

Surprisingly watchable match.

Oh, shite. Nice one, Dave.

Bright talks utter utter bollocks.

Howay, Kazim. I mean, Colin.

Turkey seeing a lot o' ball.