Keefaz

What a complete load of shite.

Didn't even stick to the rules! He coloured outside the lines, he wasn't afraid to expand the scope of the task. But you, Mowen, you're a gossip and a snitch. I don't like that. You're fired.

Dalglishesque.

Alright. Neil wins. I've no idea what the prize is, but I'll come up with something.

I think I'll pop along. I've nowt else to do.

It must be love. Also, and btw, were you at Newcastle Airport yesterday?

OK! Whoever gives me the best summary of this season in under 100 words wins a PHENOMENAL prize.

Shinier

Aye, was mint. Remember Shearer choking back the tears a bit an all.

Sorry if this is a big shit of a thread, but who knows where I can watch the match this evening?

Now for the victorious open-top bus parade past all the charity shops.

As I've said before, I haven't seen a single match all season but I still know exactly what will happen: we will score an earlylish goal on aronud 10 minutes, somehow score another before half-time. And then we'll chuck it all away in the second half and end up drawing 2-2.

I´ll be back in Toon, I think, if an emergency--utterly shit--sub is required.

Not fit to lace Darren Ambrose´s boots, tbh.

Currently in Madrid visiting friends and seeing the sights! Heading back to the ol´home of the onion this weekend, but looks like I might be back in Newcastle in time for the cup final at least.

I´ve been in Europe for a year, I have seen a single match all season, but I´m confident we´ll win this no bother. With Keegan at the Helm, we can´t fail. Top 6 still a possibility?

Don't think he's brought in more or less players than other managers, really.

Think Macho's been pretty good this match. Thought he was shite?

Aut? Just in case you thought Australia were playing. Hold on.

Those Austrians are marginally wacky.

Gomez don't look happy. Probably just realised his international career's died.

If the White Stripes have any sense they'll re-release Seven Nation Army pronto.

What a fucking hit.