Sima

Snazzy pair of trainers Pekerman seems to be wearing.

Maguire eats gerbils. 100%

Just noticed Moke’s name change

Mackem not helping his cause against his own complaints.

No force, side of the head to chest. Ridiculously stupid but IMO red would've been harsh. The second one is absolutely aiming for his head. I'm literally baffled anyone thinks its not. Imagine Cattermole did that to one of our players in a derby? Cattermole has stayed on the pitch for far worse in the opening five minutes of a few derbies tbf. Tiote and Ayoze spring to mind.

I don’t think it’s necessary for Michael to have all of those buttons.

Pure radge these Colombians like.

Hope Neville, Dixon and Wrighty talk about who made that penalty post rather than this match.

Fuck off man, Hoddle.

Creased at Maguire ‘HEY! HEY!’ Daft twat.

State of Maguire

Aye his 'Columbia will be fearing us on the corners' was a bit cringe. Forrin keepers lol.

Lemina playing the part of a Sun reporter on Sterling.

Mercenary cunt.

My Dad changed his mind. Lets go Toons!

State of Keys' face, shitloads of plastic surgery to look like a botched potato.

Sweden are a massive bogey team for England so I’d rather Switzerland went through.

Lawro has malfunctioned.

Less of a red than Jorgensen’s on Sunday night.

Get in, got a feeling Lawro will love this game.

Spoke to my Dad who I go with and he's not renewing so I reckon I'll follow suit. Shame, but I can definitely see Rafa getting absolutely shafted this over the next five weeks until the deadline.

Fucking spoilsport.

Completely forgot about that. Good shout, might as well add Stoichkov and Hagi.

Baresi and Maldini played in a testimonial tbf so I wouldn't really count those. Swap for the likes of Buffon, Cannavaro or Xavi though. Honourable mentions to Totti, Nedved and Del Piero

These are always absolutely hilarious. I’d wager you’d get onto our fifth or sixth ‘greatest XI’ before we’d start to struggle against their best.