Rich

Did Paul Dummett sneak out with a Santa hat on to keep morale up?

Good options on the bench at least. Ah, it's been a while since I've been able to be in here and be all sarcastic and stuff. Feels good man.

Offside, ref.

Aye, but who is their third choice? Some inexperienced scrub with no track record in the big league, I bet.

At least Gouffran is now ahead of it to make up for it. I can't recall a more wonky performance from a full-back. Surely Haidara would have been a better bet out here?

The right side of our defence is a footballing wasteland.

We're doing alright here like, both defences look crap. Canny game.

Sissoko is tremendous.

Are ITV accountable to anybody at all for being fucking garbage?

I actually wanted them to do that for the bantz. Disappointing.

Glen Johnson is the absolute worst. What a cunt.

Townsend again "Oh Steven"

Ref's bottled it.

Fans can't even be arsed to bew Safari.

Finger poke of doom.

Outstanding. Some huge performances.

Ramsey has become such a greedy cunt. Believes his own hype massively.

Oh Santi

The fact he was never part of a three with Cabaye and Tiote is a travesty. Would have had a bit of everything.

Apologies for that brief downtime, host was just restarting the server due to a slight fault.

Go on, son.

Pardew is indeed my hero now.

How many tackles has Perez won?

How was that guy allowed to bring a big cardboard sign into the ground btw?