Rich

This is about the 8th post of this nature from you this window I can't deal with it man. Darius Vassell has played twelve games in a row! Fucking twelve! We used to be good! Honeymoon period, man. Welcome to mid-table.

Smokescreen... now there's a word you see without fail towards the end of every transfer window.

This is about the 8th post of this nature from you this window

I'm not giving up the ghost until the window closes like, but it's not looking great.

Doesn't make him a bad player, Solano was all right foot. I think Emre is a very good player, hopefully back in the line up on Sunday to partner Butt, shifting N'Zogbia out on the wing. I think he said this because Bontempi wants Emre on the right-wing...

I've seen quite a few people saying recently that it could take a monumental overhaul of this squad to enable us to compete properly next season in the Premiership, but where do you think we are the most weak on the park? Where, when no matter who plays there, do you feel we could do with the most improvement? I know some people will just be daft and vote for all XI positions, but I'll start by giving you my reasoning/ideas, to get the ball rolling: An entire overhaul is extremely unlikely, so I'm personally pinning my hopes on us bringing in around 5 players who are good enough to play in the first team and "take us to the next level" as far as results go. I do think that there are some players here who have had enough time and enough chances and who should be sold, but more pertinently than that there are some positions on the park where we just look incredibly weak. LB - Enrique isn't old enough and he isn't good enough to be our first choice left-back and I'm sick of seeing N'Zogbia there now, especially while Damien Duff is doing nothing in the LM slot. We need someone like a Wayne Bridge or a Nicky Shorey to come in and nail this position as their own, to be the new John Beresford. Desperately. CM - A defensive-minded midfielder is important, because Nicky Butt is past it and we need Abdoulaye Faye in the centre of defence. Rozehnal and Smith have proven they can't cut the mustard here and Geremi doesn't instill any confidence either. I don't mean an out-and-out DM here, because I'm not sure if Keegan will play like that, but we could have really done with the likes of Lassana Diarra, who has the necessary attributes to play the "Batty" role, while still having enough quality to help out going forward. Carrick? CM - Of course, the position where some have been crying out for a "playmaker" for a good while now, but what we really need is a proper box-to-box midfielder with that added class, because they're going to be needed at either end of the park with the way I'd expect us to play under KK. Fabregas is the really solid example you can use in the PL, but it'll be hard to find another like him. Joey Barton was apparently the answer this summer, but the lad has proven himself too unreliable and in my eyes, too slow on the field to ever really cut the mustard here. We're never going to get another Rob Lee, but there must be somebody out there who could do the business here, probably from abroad. RM - James Milner is an honest as the day is long, but I worry about him being our only genuine right-midfielder (who apparently thinks he's better on the left.) We need a top-class wideman on the opposite side to N'Zogbia, someone with enough pace to get up and down and someone who is direct in his approach. SWP is the standout candidate to me, but it's a very unlikely deal unless he gets frozen out at Chelsea again, so we're going to have to look elsewhere probably. Keegan has proven his ability to spot a winger on a good few occasions in his past here, so let's hope he can do it again. Find the new Gillespie, KK, or whoever does the finding these days... CF - While there's an argument to be made for replacing both Owen and Martins, the real pressing area is getting in somebody to take the role played by Les Ferdinand, especially if we're going to be playing with width and pace. Berbatov is never going to happen, but it would be fucking magical, so I suppose our sights are either set over to Europe or on the likes of Dean Ashton. Viduka has proven himself too unreliable and too frail to be the main man, unfortunately, but he's quality back-up and I still think Owen and Martins will do the business with the right partner, playing in an attacking team. That was a decent little timewaster for me, and I don't actually believe we'll play exactly as we did last time around under Keegan as far as me comparing everyone to the players of that era. I think I've even been fairly conservative with my ideas, because I could find good reasons to replace almost the entire first XI - but that ain't gonna happen. I know people hate this threads, but I know some people like them as a bit of light-hearted jibba-jabba, and I'm just trying to take a load off.

It depends on the quality of player, doesn't it? If you bring in 4 exceptional players, or 4 players who are easily a lot better than what we have in their positions, then surely that could be enough to strengthen the squad? If you bring in 4 average players, then you're struggling.

10 or 12 Fat Freddy Shepherds? Don't be crazy man!

You're a moron mate, plain and simple. Get rid: Carr Ramage Ameobi Smith Christ, aye. Peter Damage should go without saying.

6.

This summer should surely bring about the end of Stephen Carr and Shola Ameobi first and foremost. Replace them with a right-back and a striker, get in a left-back to replace the already departed Babayaro, all of the replacements would ideally be quality first-team players and already we'd see a potentially big difference in the quality of our first eleven. Beyond that it's a tough call, without just picking players I'm not keen on Geremi would probably be next on my list to get rid of, if he was replaced with a quality right-winger. I suppose Emre might go the distance as well, if he doesn't do something pretty special before now and the end of the season, he'll need replacing as well with quality if possible. So get rid of Carr, Geremi and Ameobi with no tears shed, would be a bit disappointed to lose Emre, but I'm sure that'd be appeased if all of these were replaced with players of high quality. I'm talking players like Chimbonda, SWP, etc. who would be immediate first-team players. If that was the case, then I think I'd be relatively happy with what we have.

Joe Joyce runs the Academy, I'd assume he does some coaching. It was pretty much established under Roeder that Joyce was more of an administrator than a coach. The idea was that he would coach the coaches. Aye, so the coaches have to follow his lead... how do you think they do that? By watching demonstrations and stuff, most likely, because that's how it usually works. You can't really teach coaching from bits of paper. I'd assume he'd get involved in some hands-on stuff at some point, mind, otherwise he's just a fucking secretary. Maybe he goes out there, puts on some sessions and says "this is how I want things done"? You'd also assume the bloke is present at most coaching sessions in some capacity, otherwise you'd have to wonder how he fills in his day, which is basically a 9-5 job from what he told me in Kingston Park's Tesco a year or two back.

Joe Joyce runs the Academy, I'd assume he does some coaching.

At £3m it'd be a snip, especially when Billy Davies strapped an £8m price tag on him when West Ham were sniffing. It really would be. I don't care what the Janitor says about player valuations (), £3m for a very promising English talent, and an attacking one at that, is a good find in today's market. Unless he gets injured immediately and never plays a game for us. Then it'd be a waste of money

He went off injured on Saturday. For the 5th time tonight

It probably could do this season, like. Suppose it's better to concede goals like that than howlers/superb passing moves... but we've probably had our share of them as well...

I just watch the big games from La Liga but I know a defender from the bottom club may not be the answer. I wonder if there is mid table club in spain being linked with signing Darren Moore or Andy Todd & there fans are buzzing off it. In fairness Spence, I haven't seen anyone "buzzing" in here, and I've been in this thread about 30 times. You know what I mean though. Lets not build this chap up or make a stance for him because at the moment for me this would be shit sigining. A centre back from a team bottom of the league does not seem good at all. Of couse if he does sign I want & will be willing him to be the best centre half in the world. Exactamundo. If he comes all we can do is support him and hope for the best. You're right when you say it's not exactly an inspiring signing getting a centre-half from the team who has conceded the most goals in La Liga this season, though.

Christ on a bike, I don't usually consider myself overly blinkered, but I thought he was back to normal tonight after some solid games. I don't like the bloke though, I'll readily admit that. He gave the ball away an awful lot, could have done better for their first goal and was nowhere to be found on the throw that led to Flamini's goal (which was down in his RB position.) He's still nowhere near acceptable. Cacapa looked our best defender tonight to me, easily. Although that isn't saying much.

I just watch the big games from La Liga but I know a defender from the bottom club may not be the answer. I wonder if there is mid table club in spain being linked with signing Darren Moore or Andy Todd & there fans are buzzing off it. In fairness Spence, I haven't seen anyone "buzzing" in here, and I've been in this thread about 30 times.

Yes. He dithers too much, he won't spend the huge amount of money he has at his disposal, and he always, always does his business at the last moment. I also slated some of his summer signings. Namely Harewood and Knight. I was also unsure about Davies initially. But look at the evidence, he was right, I was wrong. That's the thing with him, you just have to trust him, he does things in a weird, fucked up way, he baffles and annoys you in equal measures, but you just have to trust in him to get things right. Frustrating though it is at times. Support your manager? Get out of it man, you crackpot!

I follow La Liga closely, and this guy is the Brazilian Titus Bramble. There you go, you're sorted.

I imagine that would make it difficult to run, though. Linford Christie managed ok. As did Kris Akabusi, with those giant grapefruits of his, as this story testifies. Any fucking excuse for an Akabusi story

He's got a Spanish passport, dual nationality. No permit needed.

I imagine that would make it difficult to run, though. He could just bounce everywhere, although sitting on a space-hopper. Might be why he's so lethal in the air. BA-DOING!! (Ouch) BA-DOING!! (Ouch) And so on...