Rich

Been fucking ages since I've done these: STARTING ELEVEN Harper - 4 - His kicking is fucking atrocious and he inspires no confidence whatsoever - and why the fuck does he take about 30 seconds for every goalkick? Even at home and when we're 1-0 down away (tonight)? I'm starting to get a real dislike for the flappy-handed porkster. Come back soon, Shay. Solano - 6 - Lots of fouls that he got away with and his "wand" was yet again a bit faulty. Still wasn't anywhere near being the worst player on the pitch and he should have been the captain. Carr - 6 - Didn't do a lot wrong and got up and down the flank like a fat trojan. Still susceptible to getting skinned by anyone who is faster than a slightly speedy snail and won't ever change, but he's been impressive lately in a dodgy position. Bramble - 3 - Dear me, he was back to his comical "best" at times tonight and it's got to the stage where I simply laugh when he makes a rick. His best one was the "pass" that almost put Doyle in at 1-0. Aside from the errors he wasn't too bad, but he made enough of them to justify such an abysmal score. Centre-halves cannot play like that at this level, sorry. Taylor - 7 - Quite commanding in the air again and was always trying to get on the end of our typically woeful set-pieces. Quite a few instances where he was the last line of defence as all around him lost their heads. He's not as great as people say he is, but he's a lot better than anyone else we have. Impressed with him again tonight. Dyer - 4 - Well, well, well. Things just seem to be going from bad to worse after his purple patch and he's not going to have many supporters left if he keeps these performances up. Undoubtedly to blame for the goal (what the feck was he playing at!?) and aside from a lot of probing/running (the usual) his shooting was appalling, his passing was alright and he fucking vanished after Emre went off. Liked his AZ-esque freekick, though. Disappointing otherwise. Emre - 6 - Looked fairly good before he got injured (again) and really does have a lot of class about him. Played out of position really for the entire game but was looking, with Jimmy, like the only one who'd create anything for Owen. Did lose the ball a fair bit (as usual) but a lot of the time it's because there isn't a fucker within 25 yards of him to pass to. Fell to bits after he went off, I reckon - would have got a better mark if he'd stayed on and played like he had been. Milner - 7 - (MOM) Always trying to make things happen, always running his bollocks off and always giving the opposition defenders something to think about. Still needs to work at his crossing and his decision making, but both should improve in time. He tries his knackers off in every single game he plays, no matter where he finds himself. He's not brilliant, he's not perfect, but he's on the right lines. Sibierski - 6 - Was quite effective in his given role and I was impressed with his heading/passing for most of the time that he was on. Might have got a slightly better mark if he hadn't have picked the knock up/had he tracked John Oster for the goal (probably not his job, I know) but it's about as much as you can ask for an old Frenchman who we got for next to nowt. Fair play to you, as usual, Antoine. Martins - 4 - The lad tried, I'll give him that and I can see how frustrated he gets when he makes a mistake or when things don't go his way, but nobody can deny that he was utterly awful tonight in almost every aspect of the football game. He should have scored at least one goal and had at least two gilt-edged chances, his first-touch was typically "stray", his reading of the game was appalling and he was frustrating the bollocks out of me. Still deserves credit for sticking at it and will only get better, but he was at his very worst today. The pass for Owen near the start deserves mention, though, bodes well for the future and shows he can do it. Howay man Oba, prove me wrong! Owen - 7 - When he was involved in the game he didn't put a foot wrong and showed Martins exactly what we're looking for, I reckon. He was buzzing around all over, barely gave the ball away, won his share of corners and had the Reading defence on the back foot whenever the ball so much as went near to him. I was massively impressed with him after how long he's been out for and he proved tonight that class is actually permanent. If he can stay fit he will be brilliant here and tonight he's moved up in my estimation. Faded towards the end as the legs went, but should never have been left on. SUBS Ameobi - 5 - Aye Shola, you're not match-fit and so we'll let you off with that sitter you missed and the few times you completely made a bollocks of whatever you were trying to do. N'Zogbia - 5 - Pointless introduction really and was exactly how he normally is. Confidence has vanished from his game, his left foot has become a sand-wedge and he wasn't really playing anywhere in particular. Couple of decent passes, like. MANAGER Roeder - 6 - Not sure what else he could have done from the outset and we looked bright in the first half, although it was always obvious that if we didn't score then we'd get beaten by a goal from a mistake. I said as much after about 35 mintues when we started to run out of ideas. The formation/selection didn't look a bad one, certainly, until we lost Emre/Sibierski and he probably shouldn't have left Owen on for so long (but none of us can know how fit Mickey was/is). As much as I dislike the Birdman, I'm not sure I can be too angry at him here from the outset. The second half got utterly embarrassing though, that's when you need your manager. We looked like a school team and we had absolutely no ideas of how to get back on level terms. He didn't look like he was giving any instructions whenever the camera was on him, either. Meh. The more we lose the more chance there is of him going, I suppose... ASSISTANT MANAGER Pearson - CUNT - That is all

I thought the first half an hour or so was fairly smashing and I found myself smiling watching it, which isn't a common occurence during away games... ...then things started getting very, very embarrassing. He's got even more excuses than normal for this one though: Emre/Sibierski got injured (two of our best players on the night.) No Given/Butt/Parker to select. Owen/Ameobi not fully fit. There was a mix-up on the coach and Martins' mam ended up playing up front for us, instead of him. Etcetera. Jaysus, I couldn't help but laugh towards the end though. We looked like an U11's team - a bad one.

They're recapping the 3-2 home game on the Radio (Martins' penalty, etc.)... I forgot how mint that Emre goal was at the end! One of the few highlights of the season at home. I'm off to watch it: HOWAY THE LADS!

IT'S SACRED!!!!

Surely Solano?

Pre-Match Thread: http://www.newcastle-online.com/nufcforum/index.php?topic=39062.100

Kieron Dyer is the Captain.

So Milner wasn't selected at first (dropped/rested/whatever) and something has happened within the last fifteen minutes to change it, meaning he now comes in to take Charlies' place. Mental.

Sibierski might be playing central midfield, in the hole or in between Martins/Owen apparently! Butt is injured, Milner is either injured/not selected (don't know which until the bench is named). Now Milner is in for N'Zogbia!! Line-up just been changed!

CONFIRMED LINE-UP/PROBABLE FORMATION (Radio Newcastle): Harper Solano Taylor Bramble Carr Milner Dyer© Emre Sibierski Owen Martins Bench: Srnicek, Onyewu, N'Zogbia, Carroll, Ameobi.

I don't think Ramage should be sold, either! He should just be 4th choice centre-half. Carr's actually been good recently I'd say, especially considering the teams we've played and the position he's played in. He's still a fucking runt like, regardless.

If Everton, Totenham and Bolton finish in the 5th/6th/7th slots in any order (very likely) and we finish above 'Boro and Blackburn then we're in the Intertoto Cup. Mick Lowes in explaining something very well shocker!

Bit old fashioned, innit? Not got washing machines in Paris?

Are people yanking my chain here? Parker's not available to play.

I'm like a kid in a sweetshop, tbh.

He was never leaving anyway, was he? With all of the other signings we apparently will need to be making, finding a secondary right-back does not need to be added to that list. Roeder obviously loves him, as well. I'm not sure if "want" is the right word, I don't think we have any choice in the matter. We don't have a choice in any matter that is club business. Nevertheless I wan't shot of Carr and Baba. If it is beyond Roeder to replace them, or if he has any amount of faith in them helping the club move forward, then that would be pretty disappointing in my eyes. Thank you Captain Obvious The whole point was that I hadn't actually said I "wanted" to keep him, which is what Jon was narking about, I'm just accepting of the fact that there's more likelihood of him staying than quite a few others and he's not the worst option as a second-choice right back. All I'm saying is that Stephen Carr seems to be one of Roeder's favourites and his performances lately have proven that he is capable of playing to an acceptable level, when he pulls his finger out of his arse. He's one of my least favourite players, unsurprisingly, but I can stomach him staying as long as we strengthen other areas and as long as he doesn't get a look-in ahead of Solano. Having him as the "best available" support to BOTH fullback positions is a bit worrying like

Mr. Wrong strikes again

He was never leaving anyway, was he? With all of the other signings we apparently will need to be making, finding a secondary right-back does not need to be added to that list. Roeder obviously loves him, as well. I'm not sure if "want" is the right word, I don't think we have any choice in the matter.

Carr's been better lately. He's not a bad option as back-up to Nobby, if we're being realistic. First-choice left-back next season is a big no-no mind

I hadn't seen a Mackem shirt anywhere until last month, when one of them turned up at my house wearing it. Next season should be tasty, I'm delighted they're back up. Been fucking dour without them/when they were fucking atrocious.

I hope they score at least one each, like: Then we'll get everyone going "OMFG IT'S LIKE BIG AL AND BIG LES ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!11!!!!1!" Would be a nice change in the mood on here, I suppose, if nothing else. (I do actually hope they do well, obviously.)

Chronicle are saying that Parker misses out, Nicky Butt is doubtful and Milner is still in pain with stitches in his leg but he should play tonight. Apparently Owen will partner Martins up top, with Ameobi on the bench and that's about all. If Butt makes it, I'd expect the same midfield as we saw against Chelsea, along with the same defence, but if he doesn't I suppose we'll see Emre/Dyer in the middle with Milner/N'Zogbia on the flanks. The big news is obviously up front, but it's not 100% nailed-on, Oliver has put his neck on the line if he's not sure like.

Story Owen's back Apr 30 2007 By Alan Oliver, The Evening Chronicle Michael Owen watched in training by Terry McDermott and Charles N'ZogbiaMichael Owen watched in training by Terry McDermott and Charles N'Zogbia Michael Owen WILL start for Newcastle United in tonight's game at Reading. And a fit-again Shola Ameobi will be on the bench. Both the strikers were in the United party which flew down to Heathrow after yesterday's training session to their overnight base just outside Newbury for their first ever Premiership game at the Madejski Stadium. Glenn Roeder does not want to reveal his hand to his Reading counterpart Steve Coppell before he has to, but I believe Owen will be in his starting line-up for the first time since he took over as United manager 14 months ago. Roeder revealed in the Chronicle on Friday that, providing Owen proved himself to be fully fit in the training sessions on Saturday and Sunday, then he would start tonight, and I believe this will be the case. If it is, then Owen will get his first United start since he broke his metatarsal in a clash with his England colleague Paul Robinson at Spurs on New Year's Eve 2005. And while he scored for England in the pre-World Cup drubbing of Jamaica, Owen's last goal for United was his third in his hat-trick at West Ham a fortnight before that ill-fated trip to White Hart Lane. United need just two goals to reach 800 in the Premiership and it would be a great boost if Owen got one of them. However, some of the gloss has been taken off the return of Owen and Ameobi as Roeder will have to check on a couple of unwanted injury problems before he sends his team out tonight. Damien Duff has already been ruled out for the rest of the season, while Scott Parker failed a fitness test on his ankle injury and did not travel. In addition, Nicky Butt picked up a knock in training on Saturday, leaving the in-form midfielder sweating on his fitness for tonight. And as revealed in the Chronicle last Wednesday, James Milner played the second half against Chelsea with stitches in an ankle wound and all United can do is hope that this is not a problem tonight. More problems is the last thing Roeder wants after having to endure what is accepted as the worst season in United's history as far as injuries are concerned. But Roeder has always insisted an injury to one player lets in someone else, and that someone else tonight could be Charles N'Zogbia. Indeed N'Zogbia must be looking at the situation and hoping that he gets his chance in tonight's game which is going out live on Sky Television.

Are you sitting in the Gallowgate, if possible? Or did you decide on another part of the ground?

I'd imagine the opening day is actually a decent one because you'll find quite a few people with holidays at the back end of August, who have season tickets going spare. It's usually the only time I miss home games because of holidays and I suppose there must be a fair few like me. Depends who we get, as well. If it's a big game then things get tricky, or if it's a newly promoted team, but the likes of Blackburn, Fulham and Wigan never bring many fans up with them, meaning the chances go up a great deal. Also, our signings will probably have an impact, so I'd keep some cash back for August and see what the situation is towards the end of pre-season.