Kitman

Would you prefer slapstick? bluebiggrin.gif FS: "Roeder these results are SHITE. I'm ganna pezzle ya". * Lurches round desk to grab hold of Roeder with arms outstretched. Slips on banana skin & lands with feet in air * FS: "Arrrrghhhh me arse !!!!!!!" * Roeder runs out of door *

Ahhhhhh, but what do you know? * squints eyes/strokes chin *

My spies at SJP can bring N-O exclusive minutes of this morning's meeting between FFS and GR bluebiggrin.gif FS: “Glenn, sit down son. I won’t beat about the bush here the results aren’t good enough. What the hell’s going on?” GR: “Well Mr Chairman, I can sit here and make excuses but at the end of the day we just weren’t good enough. I’m the manager and it’s my responsibility. We’ll have to work harder and we’ll have to fight our way out of trouble”. FS: “Well I’m glad to hear you’re not making excuses. So we’re agreed you’re entirely to blame?” GR: “Well I’ve got broad shoulders Mr Chairman. I can take the heat. I won’t duck responsibility. It’s my fault. Of course it doesn’t help we played so soon after the Palermo match, why was that?”. * chairman shifts uncomfortably in seat * FS: “We’ve all got problems to deal with Glenn. As you said, you’re to blame, not me. As long as you sort it out.” GR: “Plus the paper thin squad, like I told you in the summer. We’ve got a terrible injury list and we don’t have the players we need…..” * chairman shifts buttocks again & scratches testicles * FS: “ Like I said before, Glenn money’s tight….” GR: “And we’re short at the front and back. Like I said before. I mean if Carrsy was a horse you’d shoot him. Baba’s got sleeping sickness or something and…..” FS: “No excuses Glenn. Geordies don’t make excuses. Geordies roll up their sleeves and start fighting. When the ship is sinking, Geordies start bailing. Excuse me, that’s my phone.” * Picks up phone * FS: “Hi Willie. Aye not right now, I’ve got the current manager in. Yes I am interested, you know we need people in. Well how much does he want? Aye not bad. Who else you got? All right, I’ll think about it, bye.” GR: “As I was saying, we need more players in January Mr Chairman”. FS: “Don’t you worry son, we’ll back you like we’ve always backed our managers. If there’s one thing you can say about Freddy Shepherd he always backs his managers. With plenty cash. Give me a list and I’ll think about it.” GR: “OK, well we need 2 strikers, 2 full backs….” * Blank look comes over Freddy’s face * FS: “If I can stop you there son, I’ll see what I can do. But don’t worry, you’ve got our full support, let’s all pull together and get it sorted. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get on, thanks now, shut the door on your way out." * Mutters to self “Aye, whey, what you ganna do now Freddy lad, we’re in the clarts”. Turns to computer and continues playing Solitaire. Secretary rings on phone * Sec: “Mr Shepherd, I have Sky Sports on the phone. They want to know what your thoughts are on the calls for your resignation and what you’re going to do about it” FS: “Tell them I’ll call them back”. * Loads up Word. Starts typing: Dear Glenn, it is with the greatest regret that I have to inform you…..*

Piqued or pricked for chrissakes Parky

We can't rely on Dyer to get/stay fit, he's never managed it in the past. imo we should only sell Milner if he really really doesn't want to stay or if we have someone else lined at the right price/quality to improve that position. Obviously we need to improve defence and attack in Jan & the money has to come from somewhere but I'd rather see some fringe players leave first.

once Dyer is fully operational. No need for Nobby to worry about his place then bluebiggrin.gif

He's a bit old to be given the 'potential' tag, he'll be 28 before the season finishes. As I've said in another thread, Distin or Ben Heim. Really? God... never knew that. Distin would be alright i suppose. I used to think he was a bit of a donkey at Man City, and i still think he is capable of being so, but he's a leader at the back with expereince - and he was popular here before. Ben Haim would be great, but Bolton would never sell him. We won't get Lucas Neill either... Moritz Volz - £2m Sylvain Distin - £3m Wayne Bridge - £3m Mark Viduka - £2m David Nugent - £4m ... is more realistic and wouldn't be so terrible in my opinion. ........if we can find £14m to spend, which will probably mean selling a couple of players and borrowing the rest Well, if the original rumours about Neill, Upson, Bridge, Davies and Nugent were true, we'd have to spend more than £14m. Who knows if the rumours are true or not? The accounts suggest we're flat broke, imo the better Roeder does before January, the less likely we are to go on a spending spree. Knowing us, we'll make that call on 30 January bluebiggrin.gif.

He's a bit old to be given the 'potential' tag, he'll be 28 before the season finishes. As I've said in another thread, Distin or Ben Heim. Really? God... never knew that. Distin would be alright i suppose. I used to think he was a bit of a donkey at Man City, and i still think he is capable of being so, but he's a leader at the back with expereince - and he was popular here before. Ben Haim would be great, but Bolton would never sell him. We won't get Lucas Neill either... Moritz Volz - £2m Sylvain Distin - £3m Wayne Bridge - £3m Mark Viduka - £2m David Nugent - £4m ... is more realistic and wouldn't be so terrible in my opinion. ........if we can find £14m to spend, which will probably mean selling a couple of players and borrowing the rest

* ahem * who said "I don't want to be known as the man who shot Bambi" before getting his gun out?

Harper Ramage Bernard Bramble Huntington Stone O'Brien Pattison Clark Ameobi Huckerby Bring it on! Still a bit worried about that back 4..... bluebiggrin.gif

Should've used the Dyer smiley :winking:

Terry Mac probably thinks "movement stats" are how many shits he has a week bluebiggrin.gif

It's the well known curse of the calendar. When you buy it, you can be sure that in due course the good players will be injured, half the players will be transferred and the rest will play shit all by the time you turn the page up . If I was a player I'd be pleading on my hands and knees not to go in the calendar.

I want him to go somewhere he can regularly say Wayne Rooney on the telly "Wine A-Roon-i" "Wine A-Roon-i "Wine A-Roon-i" I miss that

Just 2 problems: 1. Why would Lippi be interested in us? 2. Shepherd will have no interest in Lippi - see Gemmill's post above After we sacked Souness we were linked in the press with all sorts of top foreign coaches. It seemed to me after Roeder was appointed that they were never in the frame. Gullit fettled any chance we had of getting in a foreign coach again; I expect Shepherd hated offering the job to a non-Geordie Englishman, let alone a foreigner.

It's not so much that he has no plans to take on Sven, rather that he has no plans regarding anything at all. Every day is like a little adventure for Freddy. He has no idea what's gonna happen, but hey, "one thing you can never say about Newcastle United is that we're boring *smug, brothel-creeping grin*". FFS: "We don't plan at Newcastle. Geordies don't need to plan for anything. You wouldn't believe the top names we have battering down my door to come here". * Goes back to desk and waits for phone to ring *

Pease and pudding. Doggie and style. Fat and Freddie. Kieron-Dyer-Is-Injured. Some words were just meant to be together forever.

Bruce Shepherd owns the shredder and is renting it to the club for £250k a year bluebiggrin.gif

I don't think anyone knows what he does, good bad or indifferent. It's a matter of public record that Cameron Hall Developments have struggled badly under his directorship however.

Why? How many people at the time believed those wouldn't be good deals? I was annoyed at the Bumsong deal, and still am, however, i had more hope for Luque, but an untimely injury, plus a team in crisis meant we never saw him settle properly. If luck had dealt a different hand, i think now we'd be sitting with a squad player, who wont be worth the money we paid, but somewhere above half. We paid an incredible amount of money for Boumsong. I'd like to see how the total fee broke down between transfer fee to Rangers, signing on fee, agents fees etc. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this was one of the transfers being scrutinised at the moment by the PL enquiry team

I think it's safe to say that this discussion is rolling straight up thompers' sloped forehead and disappearing over his head. bluebigrazz.gif Thompers was an accountancy student but left when he realised that they have a reputation as being the most boring people, ever. I see you were there long enough to pick that trait up though. Coming from a guy with a customised red robot as his picture... That's not just any robot, that's the Smash robot

I think it's safe to say that this discussion is rolling straight up thompers' sloped forehead and disappearing over his head. bluebigrazz.gif mackems.gif

Its just the undercard for the heavyweight MacBeth vs NE5 battle to the death later As one sided as a Frank Warren fight bluebiggrin.gif

The frightening thought is T27 working as an economist without even the slightest clue of what an accrual is. Please God he doesn't join the Treasury, taxes are high enough as it is.