Ashley17

Guthrie subbed, Perch on. Urgh.

Radio commentary is killing me. They this, they that. WHO MAN!?

Guthrie booked. Pardew said he probably wouldn't play 90 minutes so I doubt he'll be on the pitch in 10 minutes.

Finally makes up for Shearer getting decked by Howard at the Stretford end a few years ago

Shit the bed, cupboards and wardrobes

Ba vs De Gea

SHIT THE BED

PENALTY TO US AT OLD FUCKING TRAFFORD

Colo close

Sammy time

I wrote a match report for the school paper when I was 8 that contained the phrase "the referee was crap and pap" Allow me to dust off an old classic.

Oh fuck off

Urgh. This better not go in

Ryan Taylor man, focus you fuck

Right, lads. It's entering the "Ryan Taylor" 5 minutes that cost us last week. Keep your heads, and if necessary all play left back.

Good day to be playing at home so far in the Premiership

I see your mate Gary Gardner has scored today already

VDV and Jones missing out means hello to HBA and Victor Moses. FML.

We've had far, far worse tbh.

That'll do, in the circumstances

In Stone we trust

It'll be Kadar as Perch is lined up for a start in centre midfield. Welcome to matchday.

The fucker himself was in someone's front room last week saying he was playing. Don't know what to believe anymore

Just flicked over to Bath vs Dagenham & Redbridge to see a Dagenham player kick the corner flag when taking a corner. Turned it off now.

Hope Chelsea rest their whole team against us now ahead of the Valencia game