oldtype

Damn, one of my mates shares the same birthday as Nile Ranger. I have never been this jealous. Your mate needs to die, only one man can be born on that day. Or castrate himself.

Voted no assuming we stay up. He'd probably shred the Championship to pieces though, assuming he was willing to sign if we go down.

You can have your pick of Ryan Taylor, Alan Smith, or Geremi instead then.

April 9th, 1988: Alan Shearer makes his senior debut against Arsenal, becoming the youngest player to ever score a hat-trick in the first division at 17 years and 240 days. April 11th, 2009: Nile Ranger makes his senior debut against Stoke...

Harper Beye Edgar Bassong Taylor Jonas Guthrie Nolan Duff Owen Carroll

Are we still playing the "the manager will ALWAYS fuck up team selection" game? Even though it's Shearer?

Some of the names we've been linked with in the past and people have turned their noses up at is mental. To be fair, with Malouda, it screamed of Damien Duff MK II. Which it no doubt would have been if he actually did come here.

Playoff finals next season Johnsons Pain Trophy in a few years more like. I think it's far more likely that we'll make the top six of the Championship next season than ever get to the finals of any sort of knockout competition. I think it's far more likely that we'll do a Leeds/Forest down the divisions if we end up in the Championship next season. http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2688/183/92/665610305/n665610305_2890030_3239183.jpg I find your lack of faith disturbing...

Playoff finals next season Johnsons Pain Trophy in a few years more like. I think it's far more likely that we'll make the top six of the Championship next season than ever get to the finals of any sort of knockout competition.

No chance, we've got no-one to play on the wings either

The Enrique injury has convinced me that a higher power wants to see us suffer and there's quite simply nothing anyone can do about it.

Playoff finals next season

Some rich bloke from Dubai instead of Mike Ashley

Jose and Lovenkrands already injured... Predictably, Shearer coming in has somehow ended up coinciding with a whole new round of injury crises.

I'd throw in Edgar ahead of Coloccini. Yes, I'd rather play mr. "I'm probably going to be released at the end of my contract" over our club record defensive signing

Hope we can pull off a draw.

Evra Based on this season? The only name that came to mind. We live in a time with very few good left backs.

Buffon Ramos Vidic Ferdinand Evra Essien Xavi Messi Gerrard Ronaldo Eto'o

Uh, Guthrie's fine. Really? Hallelujah

Besides, we're writing off Nolan way too quickly. People didn't have much bad to say about him before his suspension, and two of his three post-suspension matches have been against Arsenal and Chelsea. I suspect he still has an important role to play in our run-in, particularly with Guthrie out.

One more year of wear and tear on those old bones sapped out whatever juice Viduka or Geremi had left. They're both finished. Geremi in particular: it staggers me when I hear anyone suggest he be included in the team. There are Nicky Butt levels of unfitness, and then there are 06-07 Steven Carr levels of unfitness. Every time I've seen him this season he's been perilously close to the latter.

The last transfer window doesn't even touch Boumsong/Babayaro/Faye. Not only were all three complete and utter shit, but arguably the repercussions of their signings resonate with the club even today.

It's not even his name, it's his nickname. Is this a football match or a stag do? "Hulk, passes it to 'Beer Monster, who in turn lays it onto 'Shagger'..." Shame brazillians are the only ones allowed to have nicknames. I want Nile to play with "STR88888888888888" on his back.

What a fantastic fuck up that was

Alvez will still be a donkey. Don't worry. Thing is though I had written off Bolton and Fulham last year and they both went on stupidly good winning streaks around this point of the season. I cant see West Brom coming back but Boro still have a chance. It's our turn to go on a "stupidly good winning streak" hopefully. What's this "win" thing you speak about good sir? It's another one of those things we used to do under the old board apparently.