oldtype

Just my dumb luck that this momentous occasion falls within the small window where I legally cannot leave the United States. One or two other Koreans are going. So if anyone happens to see an Asian in a Newcastle shirt in line to get in at Wembley, please remember to ask “are you mates with Oldtype?” instead of “are you Oldtype?” As for me, I guess I’ll be on the couch with my daughter, moderately drunk on a Sunday morning.

Lascelles or Dummet. Because it would be hilarious. Bruno and the like will hopefully have plenty of time in the years ahead to score memorable goals for us.

One of the most surreal things about this was finally hearing our fans singing the "tell me ma, me ma" song in a completely unironic way.

I'm honestly so hung up about the fact that I might not be there when we finally win one that I almost don't want us to win, but I will suppress those terribly selfish thoughts for the greater good.

Cup finals. Cannot believe it. Feels like I'm playing Football Manager.

Have to say I am absolutely shocked they haven't scored yet.

Please end the game. This isn't fun anymore.

Imagine the state of this forum right now if we were only one goal ahead

Lascelles coming on

Can only imagine how tense the inside of SJP must be right now. Would be so unimaginably horrible if we fucked this up.

Newcastle United kindly reminding us that we're never allowed to be happy.

Ooof I think that's a red

Genuinely a lot more recent than it feels like in my head.

So jealous can't leave the country because of fucking USCIS.

Not really surprising that the players seem a bit nervous and tentative when they're two goals ahead and fifteen minutes away from the club's first cup final since before any of them were born.

Thank God we have a two goal cushion because if we were just one goal away from going out I think I might have had a seizure by now.

Even I'm feeling extremely complacent so I imagine the risk of complacency for the players is high.

Fuck me

Missed first thirty minutes because of work Now all the tension is gone.

I happen to think it's actually kind of endearing when our talented, multi-millionaire football players who are handed every imaginable luxury in life from their early twenties also happen to be sinfully ugly. Makes them more relatable. Nobody has it all.

Hold on, Manquillo and Krafth still play for us?

IMO there's a reason you often choose to play homicidal pressing machines like this guy on the wing as opposed to through the middle. He seems to run enough to cover the whole pitch no matter where he starts from, and having him on the wing makes it less likely that we'll lose our shape when he's out of position putting the fear of God in some poor fool trying to clear the ball.

Got to be Longstaff so we can push Joelinton back to the middle.

Just keeps running and running and running Genuine JS Park flashbacks.

I'm sure he has warts, both on the pitch and personality wise. That's why we're getting him at a discount. Yes, for a twenty-one-year-old English attacking player who is already starting games in the Premier League, 40 million (or being available at all, for that matter) is a discount. It's part and parcel of being an elite club with good recruiting. Buy low, sell high. Identify players who have become a bit toxic due to issues that we think we can fix with our good culture and coaching. Sell players who are over-performing due to that very same culture and coaching.