Pilko

Lucky 15 (ew): 2.30 Autumn Lily 3.05 Sir John Hawkwood 3.45 Slade Power 4.25 Rex Imperator http://cdn.meme.li/instances/250x250/37203363.jpg

Garswood and Gale Force Ten reverse forecast in the 2.30.

if that comes true then I swear to god I'm done.

The silence coming from Pardew at the moment is absolutely deafening IMO.

Best time to have an away trip to one of the big boys is on the opening day, especially with their new manager.

Found his level.

He invented PAYG tariffs? I think you'll find it's pronounced GAYP.

Joe Cunt

Away to Cardiff on the opening day imo.

Because by the end of an eight-year contract Kinnear's either going to be six feet under or in a care home thinking wine gums are currency.

You're right. But as we are talking about Pardew I think I'll put the money on another bet. NUFC to go down was 14/1 about two days ago, that's amazing value.

Yes I can see him walking away right now, secure in the knowledge that there's always a future selling double glazing windows. That's why he's not gone just yet, he's hanging about to do the windows on Joe's new office at the training ground.

I genuinely don't think it'll be long now before some of our more mental fans club together for a hitman to take out Ashley.

I can now exclusively reveal who Joe's PR man is: http://a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/120/9a02792b0df3435cbab960b20b6c86fa/l.jpg "I'm very friendly with the SAS"

Fabricio Cappuccino

I don't know what's funnier, the string of mispronunciations or the rat-a-tat of bare faced lies he came out with. I think the highlight was probably his claim that he bought Tim Krul.

That was class

"hold that £30m signing of Wayne Rooney, I've got Joe Kinnear here on for some advice on out-of-contract left-backs"

The end is the absolute worst like. They even gave him a golden opportunity to try and win the fans over a tiny bit, and he just fucked us off. By saying what? There's no fucking way I'm listening to it myself, I'm quite happy with my laptop at present. Aye, plus, you don't want to risk the chance that your bairn has supersonic hearing and might actually hear the foul cunt talking shit from his cot.

Tyne Time dot com

He was such a troll.

This is absolutely not a serious call, he's just listing cliches and common misconceptions.

Thought that was Joe back on there but it was just Rab C Nesbitt on an advert.