Pilko

Found this unintentionally hilarious. If you manufacture vibrators for a living, there'll be thousands of women you meet and a small number of them will let their minds wander too far at work on the dildo production line and stick in sexual conduct charges for a laugh. Inevitable really. Death, taxes, and a life-long porn baron facing improper conduct allegations.

Would be absolutely box office if Bayern pinched Ngumoha from the dippers.

Just me who thinks £5m for Pope is really decent considering he cost us £10m four years ago and has declined rapidly in the last 12-18 months? I'd honestly be expecting some sort of nominal fee of £1m or less given his recent showings.

Get that release clause activated asap. It'll either allow us to steal a march or flush out Chelsea or whoever wants to copycat it and let us look elsewhere. Looks a canny player so hope we can get him.

I think we'll do that regardless of whether Pope leaves or not, it just depends if "safe pair of hands" is a Ruddy replacement on the wind-down (Pope stays) or someone who we think can challenge & help Jaouen directly for a year or two and provide bench and cup cover (Pope goes).

Definitely, it's a sign we're backing this lad to be a big hit rather than taking a cheap punt on someone who may or may not work out and that can only be encouraging.

Keepers are usually the cheapest, so whilst it's peanuts for a striker, winger or centre mid these days it still feels like significant cash for a keeper especially not from a top division. That and we've never really spent big on a keeper in our history before. We were spoilt with Given for a decade, Krul came through the academy, Dubs wasn't a lot and even Pope was a snip at £10m. That probably gives it a feeling of a big spend more than it maybe is in reality.

Seems a serious chunk of change for a keeper so be interesting to see if he's first choice or not. Glad we're moving quickly for a keeper as it's the most urgent need and he looks good on the YouTube showreel. Good height and plenty years ahead of him.

Shall I tell you what Fabian in Brighton's done? He's offered him a wage increase, he's put a stop to any loan moves next season, and all purchases of 20m or more now go directly through him.

True, but having a track record of facilitating those moves through helping the player develop well can't hurt. If I'm a young winger being linked with Everton right now, for example I'm looking at Dibling - next big thing and fairly hefty fee - not being able to get a kick and probably thinking I'd go elsewhere.

Whilst we've just sold Gordon (and Isak) to show you can get a big move if you do well here, Brighton have done the same with enough players (Caicedo, Cucurella, Mac Allister). They've got Conference League footy next season and are closer to London. We've got a bigger ground and a longer PL pedigree with more iconic past players/teams. I'd imagine we can both offer fairly similar wage packets. Trying to leave my bias at the door I can see why an 18-year old would (or wouldn't) choose Brighton over us right now, although I don't think a) they're outright a much better (or worse) proposition or b) it's owt to get worried about if he does go there. They may well have just got in there first and he's given them a verbal and doesn't want to go back on it, or the agent can get paid more if he goes there.

Action Man Bow-tie Arsehole

At least we got a fee and he's gone to a club in the Dutch top flight, ten years ago he'd have been down the road at Jarrow Roofing on a free. Progress of a sort

Didn't Tuchel give Hall his Chelsea debut?

We should always be looking to sign a mixture of relative unknowns who are better value and more established stars, surely this can only be a good thing.

Can he cross or shoot?

I see Salford have sacked Karl Robinson, after losing the play off final. That wouldn't be anything to do with Gary Neville who criticises virtually every managerial sacking going on the four hundred thousand different platforms and vehicles he's on would it?

Seemingly a good lad to have around but was pretty cack at goalkeeping. Always seemed to be half an inch away from saving shots that zipped past him. It just felt like basically everything on target went in when he played. Best of luck to him but I really hope we don't bring him back.

Not surprised he's staying, we've got massive turnover in the goalkeeping unit and we're losing quite a few people who are either leaders - Lascelles, Trippier - or good around the place in background squad roles - Krafth, Ramsdale, Ruddy. Next stop the Mark Gillespie Testimonial.

All the best Shermanator.

Great news.

Reminds me of when Dapper Laughs went on Newsnight to apologise down to the outfit

Freddie Woodman, I'm sure he used to wear 40-odd?