The Prophet

It seems the press know very little about our transfer plans this summer.

Juicy Dave is stepping down allegedly.

What's the true amount? The £250,000 came from the mainstream press and you tend to be quite leaky to be fair.

We needed a new rumour.

What's the false reporting?

Some of your big social media accounts have lost their minds over it. I assume it's because "the United pull" is the only thing left to cling to this season?

People do realise the season ended around ten days ago right?

Why are Man United fans so invested in Mbeumo's wages? They've paid more for a lot worse.

Sounds like he's got the hump because no one is briefing the locals?

What's Hope chatting in his latest video? Can't be arsed to watch it.

Gordon linked to Liverpool again.

Why wouldn't we just say we had no money though? We've done it since.

Pretty confident City have been successful in defending their case v the PL, at least against anything major.

Pet hates are that and using FBRef as a means of assessing how good a player is. Kill iz.

To be fair, Froggy is right. I wish I'd been paid everytime someone has peddled Matt Targett's Capology wage.

Who had Craig Hope breaking Fraser Forster?

Capology is nonsense. Both Stefan Borson and Kieran Maguire have Tweeted about it recently. The annual accounts pretty much debunk it alone.

A CB is essential.

West Ham want £65 million for Kudus.

I'm not sure what to make of him, he seems very streaky.

How would we feel about Madueke?

Zubimendi: "It's going to be a different, long summer, and I don't know how it will end." The midfielder says he's not ruling out staying at Real Sociedad next season in an interview with Radio Nacional. This has the potential for hilarity.

We've been talking to his reps since he was at Watford, so we're definitely interested. Feels like we missed the boat in terms of signing him for a fair price though.