I wouldn't be suprised if the nutcase has been driving around Chester-le-Street with a few of his little charver mates looking for a guy called "Sewelly" tbh.
"Ha yee herd o' a *hicup* kid named *burp*... erm... Sawe... Savaley? err.... Sewelly, marra? Im'a wire his jaw... *hicup*"
"Erm, nor mate. Should you be driving?"
"*hicup* He's beeen 'avin me life on the internet man... *swig* fucking wire... You nar warra mean man, fucking wire his jaw like"
"I'm calling the police"