LV

Never your fault! Love it.

Cain Dingle and a Chili Pepper as someone said.

That was Slim wasn't it?

Heeeeeeeeere's Squidward.

This lot need to take their chances though. It's making me too nervous.

No, I think we are just too desperate to win which is causing us to make mistakes.

The lastest episode of Eastenders was better than this. I'd rather watch a particularly slow episode of Judge John Deed.

what do you expect? We're at home and we're miserable. He's there, in the flesh, in STOKE, on a Monday night, in the pissing rain Why is he even there? Surely he doesn't need to be.

What kind of abusive asshole are you for making her watch this s***? She needs to know my pain Can't you just hit her? It's inhumane to put her through this. Pretty sure it's on the same list as waterboarding. She'd probably prefer that to the volcano of anger that I've become from the years of Pardball.

What kind of abusive asshole are you for making her watch this s***? She needs to know my pain

The girlfriend, who is Australian and therefore knows nothing about football, has just said 'There seem to be a lot of people in defence' when looking at our team set up. She followed that up with 'Why don't they try to score goals?' I don't even know where to start but it's come to something when even she is able to see what Pardew is all about.

Cabella is definitely no Ben Arfa like.

When did we wear that in the early days of the Premier League? I don't remember a kit like that.

Send him a blowpipe and some poison darts

Their wardrobes have been sorted for years b/c of Mike

I think they are more worried that some knacka will go for him or throw something at him. It's a legitimate concern I'd say but there's one way to stop the fans being angry. Pull that trigger fatty!

He didn't say that, did he? Yep. This guy has clearly read too many 'Lie your way to supreme confidence' manuals. Ugh, i actually detest him.

Also looks like he's got Bell's Palsy

Ha. He's lost it. 'The team played well' when asked why he picked the same team as played against Hull. Does look rattled too.

I'm going to hold a grudge against this guy throughout the rest of his tawdry career.

Dave Pardew

A real beauty

Radio 5 live are going with the '5 Live understands Pardew retains the backing of Ashley' line and repeating what his lawyers said about it being a joke. Was Tony Livesy who said it I think.

If Ashley's just waiting for him to lose one more game he may as well sack him now. I don't get why he's waiting. What's the point? It's inevitable he'll lose a game soon, even if we don't lose at Stoke.

I bet he'll be quaking in his boots at the thought of that