David Edgar

Our players are almost certainly giving the ref a warm greeting for a reason

Mount is Schrodinger's player.

Casimero looks utterly rigid trudging about.

Eric threehundredandTEN Million.

A child diving now.

A little slice from the butcher.

Rubbish.

Martinez

Feels like Ten Hag's transfer record so far is proper sketchy.

Casemiro just got wrecked.

Rashford isn't a terrible footballer but he is a shit striker. Can only really play LW.

Spurs look like they can attack well.

Antony is pure pony. Huge waste of wonga.

Baffled how the Martinez tackle on Romero wasn't a penalty. He goes in with his foot and takes the man?

Can't see the foundations of success in his early performances and he has a himalayan challenge ahead to ascent the high expectations.

Erm, Angry Antony not getting a second yellow for shouting fuck off at the ref?

Paper planes from promotional materials is cult. Was at a Stoke game where Peperami had dished out loads of A3 green cards and one lad managed to land his paper plane attempt on the centre spot.

He's fine. Felt the high contact and made a meal of it.

I am gonna be all over this kind of merch.

That's a massive dive. VAR should step the fuck in.

I am here for the retro adidas kit clobber anticipation.

Hopefully the entire country wakes up out of the Greggs obsession hypnosis. Then Wrights Pies can take over and deliver meat and potato goodness for the masses.