David Edgar

Bruno the only one who looks to be competing in the midfield.

Tonali looking a little lost and a little off the physicality.

That is just woeful from Joelinton.

No surprise, they're on an entirely different level. Going to be a slog.

if we are winning.

I'll fly over and lend you a hand.

Ah, there goes that shoulder again.

Our players are almost certainly giving the ref a warm greeting for a reason

Mount is Schrodinger's player.

Casimero looks utterly rigid trudging about.

Eric threehundredandTEN Million.

A child diving now.

A little slice from the butcher.

Rubbish.

Martinez

Feels like Ten Hag's transfer record so far is proper sketchy.

Casemiro just got wrecked.

Rashford isn't a terrible footballer but he is a shit striker. Can only really play LW.

Spurs look like they can attack well.

Antony is pure pony. Huge waste of wonga.

Baffled how the Martinez tackle on Romero wasn't a penalty. He goes in with his foot and takes the man?

Can't see the foundations of success in his early performances and he has a himalayan challenge ahead to ascent the high expectations.

Erm, Angry Antony not getting a second yellow for shouting fuck off at the ref?

Paper planes from promotional materials is cult. Was at a Stoke game where Peperami had dished out loads of A3 green cards and one lad managed to land his paper plane attempt on the centre spot.