AsprillasShinPad

Captain Jack pulling the strings, whilst being fed tactical gems from Brewcie.

I genuinely thought it couldn't get any worse than Pardew or Kenedy.  This is going to be an unprecedented shitfest.

Haven't posted on here for ages due to extreme apathy, but this summer has turned that apathy into antipathy.

There is no way back now.  The FCB is never going to leave and the club is dead.  The Keegan/Robson type years we remember will never happen again as long as Cashley is here.  After over a decade of the club being run as a cut-price billboard for SD, its clear that only going bust will get rid of the cancer that is the FCB.  His tentacles are way too deep into the club now.

The only way forward is a phoenix club to form and eventually overtake NUFC, purchasing SJP, although if the FCB continues neglecting the place, it might as well burn to the ground.

I hope the next manager is Wise or Gerrard or Pardew, just to really hammer the message home to the happy clappers.  Only liquidation will give Newcastle a club to be proud of now.

Time for AFC Newcastle...

Voted 10. 3/1 is printing money.  This time will be different to the last two times.  There's nothing in the squad or management to suggest that the club will bounce back like they did under Hughton and Benitez.

The sad thing is, the next derby could be in division 3.  I hope the club go bust and Ashley loses his investment, the deplorable cunt.

I know a shop that still sells singles and a match for 10p

Do they throw a stick of chewing gun in?

He’s gone from lightweight to premiership player. Worth a few quid now. Shinpad obviously a spakka.

Confirmed not a spacker. Yer mam confirmed does anal for tabs though.

Ever wondered why it annoys you?

Because your Mam has taken every dick im your neighbourhood?

His celebration still annoys me, but he's improved immeasurably since I last posted. He's not good enough to be our 10 going forward, but you can't doubt that he's good when he's on a run.

And our fans love him, which is worth its weight in gold.

God, I love him.

Any news on this dafty?  Apparently he's still in contract with us for two more seasons.

He's still shite.

Proper f***ing mentalist.

Completely disregarding the point being that Ki & Shelvey are amongst those missing too.

Thanks for your input.

Not the first time we've gone there with a completely decimated squad, everything went better than expected last time with a front 6 of:

 

R Taylor  Barton  Jonas  Ferguson

        Lovenkrands  Ameobi

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/9483801.stm

 

Dat bench

 

As s**** as that front six was, it was better than what we have at the minute though:

 

4 - Raylor

6 - Barton

5 - Jonas

3 - Ferguson

4 - Lovenkrands

5 - Ameobi

Average = 4.5

 

6 - Rondon

1 - Perez

3 - Ritchie

2 - Murphy

5 - Ki

6 - Shelvey

Average = 3.8

 

You can't help yourself, can you? The bolded ones are objectively bullshit.

Why? Ferguson was shite and Perez is pointless.

Not the first time we've gone there with a completely decimated squad, everything went better than expected last time with a front 6 of:

 

R Taylor  Barton  Jonas  Ferguson

        Lovenkrands  Ameobi

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/9483801.stm

 

Dat bench

As shite as that front six was, it was better than what we have at the minute though:

4 - Raylor

6 - Barton

5 - Jonas

3 - Ferguson

4 - Lovenkrands

5 - Ameobi

Average = 4.5

6 - Rondon

1 - Perez

3 - Ritchie

2 - Murphy

5 - Ki

6 - Shelvey

Average = 3.8

My prediction - Chelsea will score more goals than the match thread will manage pages before FT.

The second best striker at the club ?

Yes, and the third best striker is Peter Beardsley, who is in his 50s and was more of a midfielder than a striker.

If I gave a fuck, I'd be dreading this game.  Gonna be a lube free botting.

3-0 at best.

Well you're definitely in ShitPad's black book now, HTT.

"ShitPad" Didn't know you cared so much.  Love you too.

Why does this forum have so many weirdos now?

It's always been full of weird melts.  You should know...

As if anyone didn't see through this ruse, man.  This happens before every January transfer window to justify spending no money.

Didn't realise he'd only scored 2 goals. That makes his total non-contribution in other ways all the more annoying.

 

Pot calling kettle.

Wew.  I hold this forum together with my slagging off of Perez and Kenedy.

You on the other hand are the end of a bell.

Can we have a huge flag with:

"Mike - where's the £200m you stole from us this season?"

Written on it.  That would be nice.

Will Grigg - great song, shit player.

Why aren't unnamed Chinese after him ffs? Here lads forget 50M for Mitro. You can have Joselu for 25.

Someone can have him for a bag of Monster Munch and a Twirl.  I'd even drive him there (not to China though).

Thundercunt.

I feel like my gratuitous use of the C-word and it's derivatives has started something.  So proud.

I'd like to take a dump on him too: