AsprillasShinPad

Worst idea ever Nah. The worst decision ever was your dad deciding not to pull out.

Just scrap offsides. Stupid rule that adds nothing to the game now that teams use 11 players in defence.

That one wasn't clear and obvious.

Surely the benefit of the doubt has to mean no intervention? Awful decision. Shit like that ruins games.

Wow. Offside VAR decision made on completely arbitrary lines drawn on players' arms. That is dogshit, and will be horrific when it's used against us to make sure the big clubs get the win.

Completed 0 passes all game and then quite possibly the worst penalty ever for a last minute winner That performance was on sunday league levels That performance was genuinely the worst I can think of for the club. However, it wasn't an anomaly. He was consistently diabolical whenever he played. Nothing he did suggests he's got any sort of future in England. Good riddance.

Because there is no god, Brewce will probably end up doing what p*rdew did where he fluked 5th, despite a string of awful managerial decisions. Doubly infuriating because Fat m*ke has given Brewce money to spend, but let Rafa walk. If there was any justice, they'd get relegated, but the way things have been going, I can already see the s*** eating grin on fatty's face when Sky Sports are interviewing him and sucking him off because Brewce has got the club into the top half.

West Ham players spending more time on the turf than on their feet this game. Been watching videos of Neymar preseason?

Was a solid 12 after they announced Brewce, but seeing just how terrible Norwich were reminded me that the bottom half of the PL is pure shit. I'm at 4.

Dwarf, though. Ramos for me. How fucking dare you. Cabaye is a prince.

This. Bellamy-Shearer shoud have been the best strike force in world football. Pacy player who can finish running off the best 9 the PL has ever seen. But Bellamy's infuriating inability to deal with the offside trap (especially considering how much pace he had to burn) combined with his turd temperament meant he never got close to his potential. I can't help but think a normal person with Bellamy's skills would have been phenomenal next to Shearer.

Once what little prestige wears off the brands he buys on the cheap your market has shrunk considerably. I imagine nothing demolishes the reputation of any sports brand worse than becoming a SD brand. You just know that any of their stuff is dogshit quality generic stuff with the branding added afterwards. Not that the cheaper Nike, Adidas or Puma stuff is any good either, but I bet anyone other than the most depraved radgies wouldn't be seen dead in No Fear or Lee Cooper shite.

Depends on whether you class Stoke as Midlands or North.

Can't bring myself to watch anything with him on, but it sounds like classic Pardew. "We really don't want to sell Cabaye. No, not at all. But if someone did make a bid it would be really hard to keep him, so I really hope that doesn't happen, oh no, not at all. That would just be soooo bad if someone bid for him right now." "Alan, I only asked if you thought Shola was offside there?" Silly question. Shola was never onside during his entire stay at the club.

I thought Middlesborough was named so because it's the end of the North. Yorkshire and Lancashire are southerners as far as I'm concerned. And I live in Wiltshire now, so I know all about the bastards.

Dubravka - 7/10 Keep hold no matter what Blob - 2/10 Let go Darlow - 2/10 Let go Woodman - ?/10 Still developing. Give some cup games to see what happens. Yedlin - 3/10 Not good enough. Need an upgrade. Manquillo 5/10 - Meh. Lascellout 4/10 - Shouldn't be captain. Schar 7/10 - Keep at all costs. Lejeune 6/10 - Fine. Fernandez 7/10 - Good. Dummett 5/10 - OK. Unlikely to be upgraded on. Clark 4/10 - Meh. Lazaar 1/10 - Not good enough. Ginger dog 0/10 - Fuck off. Hayden 4/10 - Meh. Ki 4/10 - Meh. Jonjer 3/10 - One trick pony who is now obsolete because of Schar. Longstaff 8/10 - Keep no matter what. Almiron 8/10 - Keep hold, important player. Atsu 3/10 - Not rounded enough. Ritchie 3/10 - Gone backwards an astounding amount last season. Murphy 0/10 - Shite. Get rid ASAP. Aarons 0/10 - Not going to make it in the top two divisions. Gayle 2/10 - EFL standard and no more. Get rid. Joelinton ?/10 - Dunno, but better hope he's good. Which leaves us: ------------------Dubs --------Lejeune Schar Fernandez New RWB------------------Dummett ----Hayden--Longstaff--Ki ----------------Almiron ---------------Joe Linton Woodman Manquillo Lascelles Clark Atsu Ritchie Fuck knows Midfielder Fuck knows striker So if we want to play with wing backs, we desperately need a new RWB, and we're relying on Dummett who is a LB and not a LWB. We also have no credible LW or RW or even RF and LF if we wanted to go to a back four. Also, if Joe Linton turns out to be shit or gets injured, we're fucked. And we have such a sparse CM collection, it's laughable. If Hayden doesn't stay, we're relying on Shelvey or Cack Lolcack. FFS. If we are to have any chance of staying up we need as a minimum: RWB CM CF

Can he play RWB?

Shelvey has gone so far backwards in the last year. Before the WC, people were suggesting he should have been going to the WC. Now, he's become a bit of a hate figure. I think Scharrrr's arrival in the squad has shown Shelvey to be a bit of a fraud. We are desperate for a midfielder who can split defences, yet Shelvey refuses to get into the positions where he could do so. Instead, he takes a 5 yard pass from a CB, then tries to play a 70 yard pass to no-one, losing possession 95% of the time. It's so frustrating, and since Schar can ping the ball about a bit, a waste of a place in the team too. You think he'd adjust his game and start getting forward, but all he seems to do is amble around in the DM position without actually closing anyone down. Not good enough...

Bet the FCC gets that one over the line.

Surely there's a Champo team we can offload him to. I know we've only got three strikers, but I'd rather we took a gamble on a young prospect than have Gayle, who we know can't cut it in the PL wasting a squad number.

Was explained poorly in that article. My interpretation was that the ball is now fair game as soon as the goal kick is taken, it's just that players need to start from outside of the box.

No way would the FCC have spent all of that money on that paint if he was going to sell. If there was any truth to the takeover rumours, the cunt would be removing lightbulbs and door handles as we speak.

Christ, many fans here would give Pardew a blozzer just to see the top one on that list come true.

bit weird Yeah. Not sure I'd be wishing serious physical harm on a group of lads for playing for our team. *edit* and also the gay orgy bit. Bad experience? Was that a question or an offer?