Monkey Alan

1. Big Mama 2. Pope 3. Tommy Wright

If a mega club tries to activate this €100m clause and he says nurr, I think he'll find the Bruno chants get a little bit louder next season. In fact, I think it would give the whole club a lift. If the best midfielder in the world is 100% plugged in, who'd dare drop off for even a Tuesday training session?

Remember in days gone by when things like interviews, experience and suitability weren't even a consideration and ideas like "move Nobby upstairs" and were the heights of our dreams.

I'm a huge Pope fan and would be quite happy to see him and big Mama compete for the gloves a la Shaka and Pav. I'd get shot of Dubravaka if we can. Too old and supports Man U. Karius seems happy enough to be a number 3 after his life imploded.

Summer edition Eddie: a-ha Steve: uh-oh Eddie: The sun always shines on TV Steve: My son's never been on TV Eddie: Take on me Steve: He's done uz

He knows an appearance at SJP would turn into 90 minutes of worship. Behind the childlike enthusiasm for life, the bike races, the helicopters and the smash hits, there's a charmingly modest man. In some ways, walking away quietly into the sunset like Mr Bergstrom is the perfect Kevin Keegan goodbye.

Ooh Bawdy. I don't think you pull premier league managers with that sort of attitude.

I'll say 2nd. When Kev blasted us into the PL we wooed everyone by finishing 3rd, had a wobbly 6th place finish the next year and then finished 2nd. I'm backing Eddie to do the same. Livra, Hall, Tonali, Pope (or new goalie), Joelinton, Barnes will all be like new signings. Then we'll have 2 or 3 actual new signings and hopefully keep hold of Bruno. I think we'll blow everyone away in the first half the season and then run out of steam in March.

I don't like Liverpool but I love Klopp. I honestly think he's the best manager in the world. When he took over Liverpool they were probably at a similar level to where we are now and he won the champions league in his 5th season I think it was. His gegenpress football is great, he's brilliant in the transfer market and he's super charasmatic. His fist pumps are magnificent too and we'd love it if Jason Tindall did them. Klopp's emotional bond with the fans of all his previous clubs reminds me of ours with Keegan and you only really get that by being the sentimental type I think.

I like how he's not one of these managers who tells his players do it this way or that way. He goes 'do it this way, if you like'.

Need to build the quads up more for that

There were some comical decisions pre-VAR. If it gets scrapped, prepare yourself for Man United scoring goals while 12 yards offside. Regarding VAR being too slow, there is no need to have refs run over to a screen to make a decision. This should be done in the VAR room. “You got that one wrong, reverse it.” The only reason they persist with the running over to the screen pantomime is to protect the integrity of the ref but the integrity of the game should be more important. Really obvious stuff. Also, convoluted ideas like ‘each team gets 3 VAR shouts’ is not necessary. Just have competent people there to correct the ref’s big mistakes. On offside, the Wenger law solves nothing. It only changes the place at which the line should be drawn. Personally, I prefer the rule to favour the defender but if we were to revert to the daylight rule (Wenger law), I could cope. I see a lot of people saying that more leeway should be given but this too solves nothing. 15cm leeway? What about 16? 17? It will always, and indeed has to, come down to the smallest unit we can realistically hope to measure. Computers could take human bias out of the decision but people will always be on or off by the width of a short n curly. Whenever I imagine the VAR room, I picture 4 blokes sat round a table. One is tucking into a pizza, another is leaning back in his chair whilst eyeing a sideways copy of Nuts magazine and the other two are trying to do that thing where you turn your eyelids inside out. Beep beep beep… “Yeah, just give it, mate”