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Guest bimpy474

:lol: In the football NWOAT thread, I love it.

 

Well i didn't know what to do or where to put it, tbh i'm sitting here watching the clock biting my nails. Frankly i'm petrified.

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Well wouldn't you know its Mrs Bimpy's 38th birthday today. Just before she left for work she whispered softly into my ear like a foghorn "i'll home at 10pm tonight darling".

 

Ahh f***, i know what this means, she has the horn but once a year and birthday time it is. Personally i'm blaming the fecking moon for not bringing the menstrual cycle to my rescue, but no the useless lump of rock has let me down.......again.

 

Wish me luck guys and light a candle for me this time next year, if i disappear forever after tonight. A horned up Humongous orang u tang is enough to give anyone a heart attack.

 

:spit:

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Guest bimpy474

Tap yourself out?

 

I was more thinking of faking a migraine but the anger in her face will actually give me a real one. Oh.

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Guest bimpy474

Say you're still recovering from shock at the fixture lists news.

 

If i mention football she would punch me to the ground violently.

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Guest bimpy474

Admit it, you're the man behind the Big Sam twitter aren't you?

 

I wish i was, they would get first airing on here :lol:

 

Alas i'm not in his league for funnies.

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Guest bimpy474

:lol: Tick tock.

 

Suggestions for a way out of my dilemma would be nice, like.

 

:lol:

 

fake a robbery

 

What ? :lol:

 

make it look like your house has been robbed, then she won't be in the mood for sex.

 

Seeing as she has taken a sabatical from housework, it looks like we've been burgled as it is.

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