ToonTastic Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Stolen from http://soccerlens.com/football-clubs-as-women/13481341.html Premiership Teams Arsenal - Paris Hilton: All the press in the world, viral videos of their amazing moves, fanatical fans and a boob job help hide the truth - that they just can’t hack it at the top. Aston Villa - Avril Lavigne: Everyone talks about the potential but somehow there’s just nothing there. Blackburn Rovers - Kelly Clarkson: Not always pretty to look at but effective at what they do. Bolton Wanderers - Kylie Minogue: You really, really, REALLY want to, but common sense prevails at the last second and you go at it alone. Charlton Athletic - Uma Thurman: You wouldn’t, not even if they were the last team on earth. Chelsea - Serena Williams: You don’t want to look at them play, but a) you can’t help it and b) by god do they know how to win. Everton - Dido: A successful team once and a solid act at present, but does anyone really care? Fulham - Amy Taylor: Selling out cheaply and baring yourself (all for a good cause - go here, search for ‘Amy Taylor’ and scroll to the bottom pic) does not guarantee success. Liverpool - Pamela Anderson: Used to be good once upon a time but no one can actually recall that time. Banking on past glories to mint money today. Latest news suggests that more money will be poured in to buy expensive foreign imports and build new foundations. Manchester City - Mary-Kate Olsen: No one bothers anymore. Manchester United - Angelina Jolie: Age (or controversy), they say, is no barrier to quality and success. Middlesbrough - Ashley Olsen: No one bothers anymore. Newcastle United - Denise Richards: Something undeniably tragic about them if you’re a fan, a laughing stock if you’re not. Portsmouth - Lindsay Lohan: You can’t deny their success, but it’s hard to respect them with their history. Tottenham - Scarlett Johansson: I have absolutely no idea why an average team could be so popular. Hard work and talent? Really? West Ham - Anna Nicole Smith: Dead and buried, burning bright with hope but an absolute waste of talent in the end. Too good to go under. Wigan - Sugababes: One big year and everyone forgot that they’re no where near as good as they look on the (highlights) video. Non-Premiership Teams Inter Milan - Beyonce: Rivals mysteriously fail and as a result plenty of juiced up but ultimately meaningless records are set at the top. Real Madrid - Britney Spears: From great to crap, but not willing to admit it. Barcelona - Madonna: A startling ability to reinvent and keep the spotlight on themselves despite the crapshoot and criticism at every step. Bayern Munich - Jessica Simpson: Always yapping, hateable but equally successful. AC Milan - Monica Bellucci: Class doesn’t fade away, it just gets older. Lyon - Sophie Marceau: Famous and extremely talented but somehow never mentioned when true greats are considered. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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