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Alan Smith sounds exactly like me. As I said before, I forgot just how much. :lol:

 

You a leeds lad then?

I live 20 minutes from Leeds but i'm not that broad :lol:

 

Whereabouts are you?

Just for the record, i don't live in Wakefield... it's a fucking shithole :lol:, don't know if you've heard of it but it's town called Ossett :)

 

Ah yeah of course. And yeah, Wakefield is the dump of dumps.

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Alan Smith sounds exactly like me. As I said before, I forgot just how much. :lol:

 

You a leeds lad then?

I live 20 minutes from Leeds but i'm not that broad :lol:

 

Whereabouts are you?

Just for the record, i don't live in Wakefield... it's a f****** shithole :lol:, don't know if you've heard of it but it's town called Ossett :)

 

Are you a sporting boy?

Ossett Sporting boys :lol: no mate, i play for Ossett Town against teams like Rothwell, Pudsey, Farsley Celtic, all tossers tbh :lol:

 

I worked in Ossett about 10 years ago and no offence but it was a horrible experience. I couldn't wait to drive up the M1 every Friday night.

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Alan Smith sounds exactly like me. As I said before, I forgot just how much. :lol:

 

You a leeds lad then?

I live 20 minutes from Leeds but i'm not that broad :lol:

 

Same here but in Harrogate

My grandma used to have a caravan in Harrogate :lol:, played against Harrogate Railway football team last year.

 

LOL

 

With the slopey pitch?

 

Railway's ground is  in Starbeck, right f****** numpties around there!

 

I happen to live just outside

There was the ground, then another pitch to the left of that then a clubhouse :lol:

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Alan Smith sounds exactly like me. As I said before, I forgot just how much. :lol:

 

You a leeds lad then?

I live 20 minutes from Leeds but i'm not that broad :lol:

 

Whereabouts are you?

Just for the record, i don't live in Wakefield... it's a f****** shithole :lol:, don't know if you've heard of it but it's town called Ossett :)

 

Are you a sporting boy?

Ossett Sporting boys :lol: no mate, i play for Ossett Town against teams like Rothwell, Pudsey, Farsley Celtic, all tossers tbh :lol:

 

I worked in Ossett about 10 years ago and no offence but it was a horrible experience. I couldn't wait to drive up the M1 every Friday night.

Are you for real? :D

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I'm from Gildersome if you know where that is.

Yeh, played against them before aswell, they had a right mouthy cunt playing for them, went to Pudsey and got signed up for Bradford or someone but got kicked out because he was a twat.

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Not bad on the piss if you ignore the big-headed lasses.

 

"A've had t'clap and 4 kids by time a wus 18"

 

"Thats nowt that lass, a had 5 and a dose of t'crabs from 14 while 16"

 

alright i know, my accent is terrible.... is that what you meant Dave or did you really mean they are deformed?

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Alan Smith sounds exactly like me. As I said before, I forgot just how much. :lol:

 

You a leeds lad then?

I live 20 minutes from Leeds but i'm not that broad :lol:

 

Same here but in Harrogate

My grandma used to have a caravan in Harrogate :lol:, played against Harrogate Railway football team last year.

 

LOL

 

With the slopey pitch?

 

Railway's ground is  in Starbeck, right f****** numpties around there!

 

I happen to live just outside

There was the ground, then another pitch to the left of that then a clubhouse :lol:

 

The clubhouse come pub is called the Dagger!

 

Did they still have abandoned trains near by?  They might have cleared it all up after the Sky money they got from the Bristoil City game!

 

That was funny as fuck when it was on sky!

 

Bristol city refused to use the changing rooms, so they got changed on the coach!  mackems.gif

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Not bad on the piss if you ignore the big-headed lasses.

 

"A've had t'clap and 4 kids by time a wus 18"

 

"Thats nowt that lass, a had 5 and a dose of t'crabs from 14 while 16"

 

alright i know, my accent is terrible.... is that what you meant Dave or did you really mean they are deformed?

 

They think they are ace. They're not.

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Alan Smith sounds exactly like me. As I said before, I forgot just how much. :lol:

 

You a leeds lad then?

I live 20 minutes from Leeds but i'm not that broad :lol:

 

Same here but in Harrogate

My grandma used to have a caravan in Harrogate :lol:, played against Harrogate Railway football team last year.

 

LOL

 

With the slopey pitch?

 

Railway's ground is  in Starbeck, right f****** numpties around there!

 

I happen to live just outside

There was the ground, then another pitch to the left of that then a clubhouse :lol:

 

The clubhouse come pub is called the Dagger!

 

Did they still have abandoned trains near by?  They might have cleared it all up after the Sky money they got from the Bristoil City game!

 

That was funny as f*** when it was on sky!

 

Bristol city refused to use the changing rooms, so they got changed on the coach!  mackems.gif

I don't remember, went in the clubhouse like, had scummy Leeds on the big screen.

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Alan Smith sounds exactly like me. As I said before, I forgot just how much. :lol:

 

You a leeds lad then?

I live 20 minutes from Leeds but i'm not that broad :lol:

 

Same here but in Harrogate

My grandma used to have a caravan in Harrogate :lol:, played against Harrogate Railway football team last year.

 

LOL

 

With the slopey pitch?

 

Railway's ground is  in Starbeck, right f****** numpties around there!

 

I happen to live just outside

There was the ground, then another pitch to the left of that then a clubhouse :lol:

 

The clubhouse come pub is called the Dagger!

 

Did they still have abandoned trains near by?  They might have cleared it all up after the Sky money they got from the Bristoil City game!

 

That was funny as f*** when it was on sky!

 

Bristol city refused to use the changing rooms, so they got changed on the coach!  mackems.gif

I don't remember, went in the clubhouse like, had scummy Leeds on the big screen.

 

Well at least you enjoyed yourself!

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The only positive memory I have was of a decent sandwich shop in the market place. It may have changed since I was there but it was run down and full of knuckleheads, most of which used to work for me!

I can't remember the name of the pub - it was near Sandways industrial estate - but there was one night when one rather inebriated bloke took bets from his mates who could punch out the most amount of his teeth. Allegedly, I didn't see it and it's hearsay but the same bloke ate a bleach ring from one of the urinals!

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Not bad on the piss if you ignore the big-headed lasses.

 

"A've had t'clap and 4 kids by time a wus 18"

 

"Thats nowt that lass, a had 5 and a dose of t'crabs from 14 while 16"

 

alright i know, my accent is terrible.... is that what you meant Dave or did you really mean they are deformed?

 

They think they are ace. They're not.

I can imagine Dave now, going round in his mod trousers telling everyone he's the main man of Newcastle-Online, infact i bet it's his chatup line... "Hey, what's your name then?" "I'm Dave,N-O Mod of the year"

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Not bad on the piss if you ignore the big-headed lasses.

 

"A've had t'clap and 4 kids by time a wus 18"

 

"Thats nowt that lass, a had 5 and a dose of t'crabs from 14 while 16"

 

alright i know, my accent is terrible.... is that what you meant Dave or did you really mean they are deformed?

 

They think they are ace. They're not.

I can imagine Dave now, going round in his mod trousers telling everyone he's the main man of Newcastle-Online, infact i bet it's his chatup line... "Hey, what's your name then?" "I'm Dave,N-O Mod of the year"

 

That was Bluf though. :razz:

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Not bad on the piss if you ignore the big-headed lasses.

 

"A've had t'clap and 4 kids by time a wus 18"

 

"Thats nowt that lass, a had 5 and a dose of t'crabs from 14 while 16"

 

alright i know, my accent is terrible.... is that what you meant Dave or did you really mean they are deformed?

 

They think they are ace. They're not.

I can imagine Dave now, going round in his mod trousers telling everyone he's the main man of Newcastle-Online, infact i bet it's his chatup line... "Hey, what's your name then?" "I'm Dave,N-O Mod of the year"

 

That was Bluf though. :razz:

You lied, that makes it worse :)

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Guest Toonie

http://www.nufc.premiumtv.co.uk/page/NewsDetail/0,,10278~1084311,00.html

 

NEWCASTLE United new boy Alan Smith says that he chose to join the Magpies ahead of at least nine other top clubs.

 

The 26-year-old first became aware of the Geordies' interest last week amid speculation linking him with a move to a host of Premiership sides.

 

But Smith admits that following a converstion with Magpies boss Sam Allardyce his mind was made up.

 

"There was a lot of speculation linking me with a lot of clubs and I think there were about ten teams in for me," Smith told Newcastle World TV in an exclusive interview after penning a five-year deal with United.

 

"But once I knew of Newcastle's interest and spoke to Sam Allardyce I knew straight away that I wanted to come here.

 

"He's a manager who gets the very best out of his players and I'm sure we'll the best of Alan Smith at Newcastle.

 

"Sam told me of his plans for the club, there is massive potential here and the manager is determined to succeed.

 

"I want to be part of that and I'm delighted to be here. I'm raring to go, there are some great players at the club and hopefully we can gel as a team this season."

 

Talks about himself in the third person, thats a bit conceited.

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Guest Toonie

SAM Allardyce admits that once he knew a player of Alan Smith's quality was available he did not have to think twice about making a move.

 

The 26-year-old England star penned a five-year deal with the Magpies on Friday and became Big Sam's fifth signing of the summer.

 

And, as the Toon gaffer told Newcastle World TV, he is delighted to have the Premiership winner on board at St.James'.

 

"Once I knew a player of Alan's quality was available I didn't have to think twice about making a move," said the 52-year-old boss.

 

"I think it's one of the quickest transfers I've ever been involved in because we knew straight away we wanted him here.

 

"I'm delighted to have a player of Alan's ability and character at Newcastle United and I'm sure he'll be an excellent signing for the club.

 

"I spoke with him and explained our plans for the club and he was very impressed, thankfully he chose us because there was a lot of interest from other clubs.

 

"He's a versatile player who I envisage we will be able to use in a number of positions.  oooooo kinky

 

"I'm looking forward to working with him and it shows his attitude that he wants to be involved straight away against Sampdoria on Sunday."

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