Shearergol

Will you stop with this s***, man? We all know there's been artificial bids made in the past at the end of windows. At what point did I say we hadn't in the past? The bids for Ruiz were either fake or incredibly naive, either way they don't paint the club in the most positive light. However I think the club realise this is an increasingly tight Premier league season and that we're far from guaranteed safety. Two injuries or suspensions in midfield and we're back the days of throwing players like Bigirimana in there (I know he's injured). What are you basing that on? All I can see is a complete lack of planning and urgency.

What's the actual point in any season? We already know we're trying to not win things.

Shola up top on his own for 90 minutes.

I wasn't comparing him to Lampard. I was questioning what a box to box midfielder is. Yaya scores goals too. Loads of them. He's a box to box midfielder.

I always thought a box to box midfielder scored, a la Lampard?

Because we put ourselves in a higher bracket than those supposedly most interested - Crystal Palace, Swansea, Hull, and Cardiff? Our manager doesn't. We're a team battling for 8th. They are teams battling for 9th. See? See?

Gosling?

They wanted £92m to sell him in January. Imagine a club doing that!

For the love of god change that picture Ok i will as this is the second time you mention it Give me a moment! http://www.newcastle-online.org/nufcforum/avs/avatar_1150_1390902224.png

So it's not from a game?

http://i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article1863754.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/167657461-1863754.jpg Joe: Will ring you when it's sorted Alan. Don't worry.

£15m on one player when we've only got a few more than that from the Cabaye sale? Not a chance in hell.

Ahh, panic over. I was worried for a minute that we'd lost out on someone who might get at least 3 goals for us this season.

Well he's in the country, they need a striker.

Everton to steal him?

Depends. Straw man to a tee.

Eh? There's 11 there.

And a red card for the grass?

You'd prefer this happened on Thursday or Friday right before the derby with zero chance of anyone coming in? Big lolz. No replacement is coming in. Not unless it's a £400k league 1 youngster.

Is anyone really in any doubt that they're sat there laughing at us all?

Did Benny go off with cramp then? Probably caused by not playing enough recently...

Sign Cabaye. He looks handy.

Centre Circle.

Spent, but not on transfers. Same old. Spent paying off the club's debt to Ashley. To be fair, we only actually need a squad of about 13 players.