right then children,off to sleep now. whats that, you want a story. ok snuggle down and i'll tell you about when i was younger.
we should have known this would be bother. even before getting on the bus organised by a mate from work it was hassle. we were told from the ticket office that the last tickets had just been sold as we reached the window but we could get tickets if we joined the travel club even though we already had our travel arrangments made and you had to pay for the trip with the travel club in order to get the tickets. (you see kids nufc has been shafting its fans for years,it's nowt new in fact i think uncle mike is merely upholding the club tradition in this respect). anyhow, we storms over to the old offices to much panic from the staff. after much anger and complaining the person in the office rang his boss and the conversation was basically "how many of them are there ?....about a dozen...get them tickets and get them out then lock the door so nobody else gets wind of the scam".....and we were set!
and then the day itself. the bus from the central. half lads from work,half lads from kenton way on who were mates with the organiser. only about half of us had tickets and off we went. beers and cards on the bus and a quite uneventful apart from a run in with some boro fans on their way to wolves at some service station. stopped short of violence but only just.
the charabang pulled into some sleepy village with a pub just opening (well fancy that) and we entered just in time to help set up a BBQ. all was nice and cosy till it got a bit busier and some of the local youths turned a bit spiteful. they were soon put to flight by some of the more fleet of foot of our number. however this soured the atmosphere somewhat so we thought it best to head into leicester. leicester could have been promoted that day so there was a bit of a party atmosphere tainted with the nastiness that always hangs around the place like a nonce round the leazes park bogs. in all the pubs there were stories of skirmishes,ambushes and more than one or two battle wounds on display. i thought the walk to the ground would have been a little spicy but apart from a bit of shouting and the odd lobbed bottle or two we entered filbert street refreshed and unscathed.
the match ahh the match. a little peacock lift over the keeper put us in the lead then walsh equalised. enetering the final few minutes all sorts of rumours were sweeping the ground about rersults elsewhere, the most prvelent of which was that if leicester won they were up. their fans wanted to party as soon as possible so decided to stand on the touchline so as not to waste time getting on the pitch to celebrate. then wlash scored again....in his own net. even now when i watch it i'm waiting for one of those fans to kick it off the line....and chaos ensued. whilst we were still celebrating the players left the pitch and their fans entered it and came at us. this still being in the days of perimiter fencing at grounds there was a bit of a barrier. for a good 30mins they threw everything available at us,coins,seats etc while the cops just watched us and whacked anyone who made his/her way to them to complain about sod all being done to stop the locals throwing stuff at us. then the rumours started that the game hadn't actually finished and the ref had took the players off for their saftey and even that the goal had been after the whistle ,we'd drawn and were relegated (which couldn't have happened anyway due to other results).
we left the ground at about 6pm. made it to the bus relativly unmolested and headed to nottingham. we had this plan you see. tell everyone we are going to chesterfield and how good it was then we would have nottingham to ourselves......first three pubs in nottingham cram chocker woth toon fans. seems like everyone had the same plan. in the next hour i saw enough of newbiggin hall to know there was going to be bother. for the most part we kept out the way (well my little group as some of the lads on the bus were in the middle of the battles that follwed). we got invited into a wedding,had a fantastic hour or so with some nurses then grabbed a snog a fumble and a kebab before staggering back to the bus skirting round the riot that was errupting in the square.
as i sat on the bus,chili sauce running down my chin, two coppers get on the bus with some local with an eye hanging out , his nose where one of his ears should have been and a doc martin millimetre tread on his cheek. i said to the lad next to me "i'd pick iut a couple at random if i was him, just to be a t***"........he did, me and the quietest lad on the bus.
"off the bus son"...arm up my back then plastic strap cuffs and into the back of a cop van...."MY KEBAB......MY KEBAAAAAAAAAAB".
as i was getting cuffed i was saying to the lads...just get on the bus and get out before anyone else gets lifted. within 30secs of being in the van theres an all mighty welt on the side, the door slides open and the bus organiser was flung,arm up his back,face down on the floor of the van. "hello xxxx, good to see ya mate,coming for a ride ?" this lad is the most sensible person i know...till he has a drink. he's a proper Dr Jekyll and Mr alcofuckingmental and he'd imbibed one or two that night. and off we went to the notts cop shop.
you know sometimes you can feel a presence in the room without seeing or hearing anything ?....as i'm standing there giving my details i felt such a presence. on turning round was another off the bus. he'd got off the bus to plead my case. in his words "i told them you'd done nowt, so if they're gonna nick you for nowt" puts wrists out " then they may aswell..........." clink! 2 more came in in the next 10 mins. i thanked them for their efforts whilst calling them daft twats.
off to a holding cell, still cuffed i thought it would look cool if i just put my back to the wall and slide down it (for the benefit of looking cool to the other lad who'd been nicked with me). i looked so cool,almost james deanish for about 15mins till the cops came to put me in a proper cell. it's impossible to get up from that position and still being slightly intoxicated i just looked like a maggot in jeans wriggling around the ground till asking the cops to help me up. i wa sput in a cell with Mr alcofuckingmental who just rocked bakwards and forwards all night saying "disaster...f***ing disaster i've been done before" he ended up becoming a gaffer at our place and had to take me for a disciplinary once and his gaffer said "have you met xxxx" to which i replied "sure we've shared a cell" i was told "it was no time for making jokes". anyhow i digress.............after a very uncomfortable night on a concrete floor with my dreams punctuated by "disaster,f***ing disaster" i woke up with a thumping headache and the worst post drinkies carpet gob ever and being unable to brush teeth. an hour after waking it was feeding time...sandwiches "whats in them" i enquired, "meat" said grumpy cop...."what sort of meat" i persisted "meat from a tin" returned grumpy cop.
an hour or so it was off to the interview room,tripping over my flapping desert boots as the cops had confiscted my laces to have what even the interviewing cops knew was a waste of time interview, he says it was you, i say i wasn't and with all the witnesses the brides father inviting us to the wedding, the nurses etc.
returning to my cell the desk cop said "are you xxxxxxxx"....."aye"....."your girlfriends been on the phone"
f*** f*** f***
my plan was just to say that i'd ran in to some of my mates from london and ended up going back with them but instead one of my mates who had been on the bus decided to ring up to see if i was back yet and spilled it all. she goes round to the local cop shop. it would normally have been a case of "nowtr to do with us" but tha cop there happened to be a mate of mine...how lucky eh ? and he tracked me down for her.
back to the cell for the final piece of the polices little game.....5 of us arrested, 2 charged with obstruction 3 uncharged and the police decide to stagger our releases and tell each of us that everyone else was long gone. i got out at 7-24pm. the last train make a connection to newcastle was 7-27. 10mins in a taxi....good old british rail. 15mins late. asi'm putting my laces back in my boots i heard someone calling my name. looking up to see a can being waved from the top of the platform was my mate who had literally asked to be arrested. train to sheffield. refuel with some more cans and on to newcastle with an awaiting girlfriend picking me up and going for a curry to tell all about it.
the bus made it back minus half the windows.
the 2 who were charged both got fined £125 and have both gone on to middle management where we work.
i never felt worried throughout the whole thing and it was a fantastic experience.
i was supposed to be at work on the sunday. it cost me about £70.
