Keefaz

I know it's daft, but Ian Rush. Was one of only a handful non-Toon players held in any respect in our house when I was a kid (along with, strangely, Kenny Daglish).

lol

Boumsong: looked rubs from his first game and never improved.

Olivier Bernard MkII. Fat, pancake-eating twat.

Hair. I think he said hair.

Duff. Did almost nothing for years.

Emre.

Probably win 3-2.

Really hope this is concluded swiftly. Brilliant to be safe in the knowledge he's contracted for a good stretch.

Hansen isn't. He basically called them cunts and Lineker was like, "What? For donating money to charity, you fucking spazz?" That was the gist of it at least.

Is that a fairground?

Surely Carroll's at his best when playing on the counter?

the one from glenn johnson ?....straight above his head, don't know why he needed to do a scissors move with his legs. Elevation But Westwood's double save was better actually. Gosling's was the best of the lot, tbf.

dalglish in this mornings papers saying the cheat is only getting slagged off cos teams are scared of him.....too fucking right kenny, we are all scared he'll cheat us out of points.

Would've been better off trying to control that and score. Goofy twat.

Great call. Now show us your tits.

I like how moments like build: crap throw-in leads to crap backpass leads to crap touch.

AC/DC: Andy Carroll Didn't Convert

That van Persie's not shit.

Why are all Steve Kean's interviews heartbreaking? Always seems on the verge of tears.

Torres: absolutely shite twice in the space of five seconds.

Hansen's slagging him off noo. Poor sod.

Was a pen, but no way the ref can give it.

'Foul'.

What did Lawro mumble there? What's he on about?